Die Liebende‐Rainer Maria Rilke(English)

The image of a man, a thought that I, the other, cannot imagine from its trivial aspect,I think of words that I record time and thought. If I could understand every casual look, the light that comes through the window, the changing emotions, I would feel happy. So I realize what I think is beautiful and what it means to be born. I love everything I love. I hate it, but I love it.

Chris Kyogetu


Rilke’s “My darling”, Das ist mein Fenster, “This is my window”, starts with the inevitable awakening of her inner self and a look at the unconscious exterior. This is Eben bin ich so sanft erwacht… “I just woke up”, a gentle, relaxing moment, like a sprinkling of white powder.

“In the day-to-day life of a person like the window, “Bis wohin reicht mein Leben” (Where will my life reach?), and the eternity of the night and the universe, and the dream.

Ich könnte meinen, alleswäre noch Ich ringsum; (I feel that everything around me is still me), and thus loses the frontier between the interior and the exterior. Is both a bond and an obstacle to the outer world in this poem? She’s falling for him. and across the side world whereas his feelings and awareness of him as “objectivity from outside the window” But this is her reflection. Her existence is “inside” the window. Whether expectant or anxious, the waking ‘now’ is simply her being inside the open window.

I don’t know the details of the “I” relationship with that other person, but the fact that the other person is in my heart means that my beloved is not a quiet presence standing in the depths of my consciousness. My analysis of the poem is that it is a window on the outside world, without any intervention or controller (e.g. God) between ‘me’ and the ‘loved one’.

The original reality is the margin in which the poem ends. The world of empty margins, where nothing is written, exists for the poet independent of his own spirit, and when the poet enters into the spirit of a person, It ​means it changes the reader’s vison. If the window becomes special as of this day, it is a success.

It is beautiful to see the interior growth and the interior finesse.

I believe that a beautiful poem is beautiful, even in its borders. 


The Lover

That is my window. A moment ago

I woke up so softly.

I thought I would float.

To where does my life extend,

and where does the night begin?

I could think that everything

were still me all around;

translucent as a crystal’s

depths, darkened, dumb.

I could also contain the stars

inside me still; so large

does my heart appear to me; so gladly

it released him away again

whom I began perhaps to love,

perhaps began to hold.

Strange, as something never-described

my fate looks at me.

For what am I laid under this


fragrant as a meadow,

moved here and there,

calling out at the same time and afraid

that someone will hear the call,

and determined to find my downfall

in another.

R. M. Rilke

Die Liebende ( Rainer Maria Rilke ) 訳・Chris

Das ist mein Fenster. Ebenbin ich so sanft erwacht.

Ich dachte, ich würde schweben.

Bis wohin reicht mein Leben,und wo beginnt die Nacht?

Ich könnte meinen, alleswäre noch Ich ringsum;

durchsichtig wie eines Kristalles Tiefe, verdunkelt, stumm.

Ich könnte auch noch die Sterne fassen in mir, so groß

scheint mir mein Herz; so gerne ließ es ihn wieder los

den ich vielleicht zu lieben,vielleicht zu halten begann.

Fremd, wie niebeschrieben sieht mich mein Schicksal an.

Was bin ich unter diese Unendlichkeit gelegt,

duftend wie eine Wiese, hin und her bewegt,

rufend zugleich und bange, daß einer den Ruf vernimmt,

und zum Untergange in einem Andern bestimmt.

full version (Japanese)

Die Liebende‐Rainer Maria Rilke




リルケの「愛する人」、Das ist mein Fenster「これは私の窓」という始まりは、自分の内部の目覚めと共に、意識出来ない外部への視線が必然となる。それはEben bin ich so sanft erwacht.「たった今、目覚めたばかり」と、白粉が舞うような、甘くてゆったりとした時間を感じさせます。「窓」のような人間の生活に関わっている日常を通して「Bis wohin reicht mein Leben」私の人生は何処へと届くのかと、到達しえない眼路の限界と、その限界を補うための夢想、「und wo beginnt die Nacht?」そして夜は何処から始まるのだろうと、更に夜と宇宙の無限、そして夢と誘います。

「私」はIch könnte meinen, alleswäre noch Ich ringsum;(私の周りぐるりと全てが未だ私のような気がする) と、それによって内と外との境界線を失います。

私の窓、「 eben、たった今」この窓とは、この詩の中では外の世界と繋げる存在でもあり、隔たりにもなっている。恋する彼女は外の世界を通して彼への想いや気づきを「窓の外という客観性」として具象化します。けれどもこれは彼女の内省だった。



「私」と、こ の相手との関係の詳細は分かりませんが、想う相手が心の中に居るということは、愛する人とは、自分の意識の下で自分の認識している範囲の記憶を形成するが、

佇立している静かな存在では無い。この詩は 「私」と、「想い人」二人の間に何らか しらの干渉者、管理者(例えば神)を置かずに、外の世界を窓だけで表現しているというのが私の分析です。





リルケ:「愛する人」Die Liebende ( Rainer Maria Rilke )














Die Liebende ( Rainer Maria Rilke ) 訳・Chris

Das ist mein Fenster. Ebenbin ich so sanft erwacht.

Ich dachte, ich würde schweben.

Bis wohin reicht mein Leben,und wo beginnt die Nacht?

Ich könnte meinen, alleswäre noch Ich ringsum;

durchsichtig wie eines Kristalles Tiefe, verdunkelt, stumm.

Ich könnte auch noch die Sterne fassen in mir, so groß

scheint mir mein Herz; so gerne ließ es ihn wieder los

den ich vielleicht zu lieben,vielleicht zu halten begann.

Fremd, wie niebeschrieben sieht mich mein Schicksal an.

Was bin ich unter diese Unendlichkeit gelegt,

duftend wie eine Wiese, hin und her bewegt,

rufend zugleich und bange, daß einer den Ruf vernimmt,

und zum Untergange in einem Andern bestimmt.

























2016年 胸が痛いと救急車を呼んだ

2017年 常に安定剤と眩暈止め、色々な薬が手放せなくなった。

2018年 意識の中で言葉が途切れ途切れになっていった。

2021年 心臓と肝機能の薬で回復傾向(向精神薬の服用停止、ワソラン錠等の心臓の薬に変更)











The Goldfinch(English)

The Goldfinch Carel Pieterszoon Fabritius

Should be a reflection of something purer.
André Paul Guillaume Gide

On 12 October 1654 an explosion in an explosive’s depot caused a large extent of casualties.

Many Dutch paintings were destroyed in the explosion, and this also damaged the workshop. One of the victims was Rembrandt’s pupil, Carel Fabritius, who was also killed in the accident. This captive bird is still alive today, even though it has lost its owner.

No doubt many people will agree that the “fate” of this painting is the reason for much of its re-evaluation.

Carel Fabritius was an Rembrandt student. His paintings have been influenced by Rembrandt. We can find Rembrandt’s influence in the way he painted light. Rembrandt’s early works show a wide range of colors, but he gradually developed a basis of brown and grey tones, with brighter colors used for the most illuminated objects. He also uses chiaroscuro, a compositional technique that clearly defines light and darkness.

Its influence is also felt by his pupil Fabritius. Overall, the work is completed in opacity, but the color contrast gives the wall a strong light. The walls are darkly shaded by the feeder and the birds as chiaroscuro,  Tarnished natural yellows create a psychological effect of light and shade. What distinguishes this painting from that of Rembrandt, in addition to choosing the bird as a motif, This is using hard paint..Like Van Gogh and the impressionists.

The bird’s background is a flat wall, but we can imagine that what the bird is watching is daylight.

By avoiding all human symbols and imagery, the bird sees the purest things. The light is reflected in her eyes and the imagination is always there. This painting, dressed in “Amor Fati” is a bird who never knew the escape.

This bird lives for a long time and is not capable of flying high.

It was the movie “The goldfinch”(2019) that made this painting instantly famous of our time.

In order to explain the film, a boy and his mother visit a museum and find themselves caught in an explosion. While they escape, the boy steals the goldfinch which has survived. Inspired by the destiny of the original painting of real life, I watched this movie in 2021 with no previous information. The film was inspired by the destiny of the original painting of actual life,and I got a sense of déjà vu from the paintings used in the film.

Had a life of his own for a film accessory. Nothing symbolic at the time, but the color palette was classic. The bird understands the light and is free from superfluous insights. It’s too far from being allowed to exist as a painting, and I’ve seen it before. During the movie, I thought so much about this painting that I didn’t remember exactly what it was about. I didn’t remember exactly what they were talking about, However, the characters began to say that it was a Dutch painting. I looked through the catalogue on the shelf in the other room, thinking maybe I saw this painting once.

In 2012, I was still watching the painting.

I placed a sticky note in the catalogue of Mauritshuis’s exhibition.

The page was “The Goldfinch”. Many Dutch paintings were produced during the boom in microscopic observation, So these are essentially specific tables. Rembrandt’s “Canticum Simeonis” was extremely bright. And Vermeer’s “Het meisje met de parel” tour. I passed by smiling faces art, smiling faces art, and found ‘Goldfinch’ in still life.

It seemed like an incomplete picture. After the human smile, the innocence of the animal, the feathers reflecting the pure light, looked even brighter. In the midst of all these still life’s, observed as the curious mind desires, there is a single and foreign imperfection.

This bird looked at the sky, far beyond the scope of the microscope. This picture was not intended to be framed. Whether it was a piece of trompe l’oeil or a case cover, the purpose of this painting is unknown. In my opinion, the exhibition was not very good, except for the “The Gold finch” and the “Canticum Simeonis” by Rembrandt.

The sound of the birds’ footsteps and the sound of its chain appear to come from a silent painting. Never has this bird been overshadowed by the trials and temptations of fate.

Imperfection, captivity and flight – these three points can strike an agreement with the infirm.

First of all, the downside of not knowing somebody didn’t make it easy for me to talk about that bird. I didn’t have the background or the information to keep it to myself.

The bird hides in the blind spot of memory, but fate so loves him that he comes back alive.

The moment I opened the catalogue, the map of the museum and the advertisements of the museum at that time fell out of the book…Kind of reminded me of a bird wing flapping.

 The way missing memories can be brought back to life is a reminder of the movement of time. Especially when it’s a sign of hope, That’s like a revelation of God.

Loved by fate, this trompe l’oeil, what is it that deceives? Even in the museum, this bird saw the light. A number of times, and through space, this bird sees the light,

I was ready to be deceived again, which made me feel like receiving the light.


Translation, proofreading of past articles has not been completed. I’m finishing up this month.

I am so sorry for the late submission.

The Goldfinch

The Goldfinch:Carel Pieterszoon Fabritius







Amor fati(運命愛)に纏われたこの絵画は、飛翔することを知らない鳥だった。


 この絵を現代で一気に有名にしたのは映画「The Goldfinch」(2019)だった。美術館に母親と二人で訪れた少年は爆発事故に巻き込まれる。少年は、逃げる際に生き残ったGoldfinchを盗みだしてしまう。元々の実在の絵画の運命をモチーフとして作られた映画だが、2021年、私はこの映画を前情報無しで見ていた。そこで使われている絵画に既視感を覚えた。映画用の小道具、という短命の運命にしては生命力があった。たかが鳥の絵ではあるが、背景の色が現代の発想で描いたわりには古典的な描写だった。光を理解していて、余計な思想が無い。絵画一枚として存在するにしては構図が右に寄っている、それにやはり見たことがあった。映画の話が頭に入って来ないほど、この絵のことばかり考えていて、登場人物達がオランダ絵画と言いだしたので、もしかしたら一度見たことがあるかもしれないと、別室の本棚から図録を探した。


マウリッツハイツ美術展(2012)の図録に付箋を貼っていた。そのページが「The Goldfinch」だった。オランダ絵画は顕微鏡等で観察がブームだった時代のものもあり、基本は精密な絵画が多い。レンブラントの「シメオンの賛歌」は圧倒的な異才を放っていた。フェルメールの「真珠の耳飾りの少女」目当てに美術館のコースが決まっている。人間の笑った顔、笑った顔の作品を素通りしながら、静物画のエリアで「The Goldfinch」を見つけた。









The Goldfinch(2019)

No longer human (English.ver)

And lastly, there's still a way to seek God in you. That is, there are ways of doing away with things that are limited. For if artists look for the face of the King in the soul of a tree, they will leave everything behind for the love of that face.
Nicolaus Cusanus-De quaerendo Deum 49


 It would be easy to be misunderstood as an infantile mind when talking about Dazai Osamu’s ‘No longer human’, but as of 2021 Dazai Osamu is famous, but whether he ranks high or low alongside the great masters of the Showa period, (1926~1989)he is not even sure. What was his essence, after all, is still not settled. Seventy-six years after the war, here we are. I realized again that this is the allure of Dazai for me.

I hear Dazai’s collection sells well in the summer and it looks like it’s selling well now. There are those who say that his colloquial style lacks the intellectuality of the great writers. The fact that he wrote with such sensitivity about something so trivial may raise both religious and philosophical questions. His sensitivity is also characterized by the fact that his works are not full of metaphors and technical details, Instead, a series of words are used in everyday life.

I’ve grown up, the reason I mention Osamu Dazai again is that, as a Christian, I know and admire other authors whose ideals of love and life and death are quoted in Catholic newspapers, but even after two years of convalescence,I was unable to find a source of language as deep-rooted as theirs. I saw a lot of light and love, I decided that time was of the essence, considering my age and my illness.

When I said, “If I translate in English, I’ll address it to somebody who understands Dazai.” it was a declaration of my defeat and a sign of my resumption. However, I cannot write about Dazai Osamu in one article, So I will be writing about it in a number of articles.

“No longer human” and “Osamu Dazai”

The protagonist, Yozo, from childhood was a beautiful boy,It could not, however, be attributed to the contemplation of happiness and had doubts about it. Beyond its interior life, society considers it “fortunate”. The words are somewhat superficial and do not resonate with the protagonist. And as if the world around him were a Japanese honors student, he can’t find anyone who has the same problem as him. The protagonist wonders to the world if they “sleep well at night and are refreshed in the morning?”

Today, there are more and more jobs, and it is fashionable to do whatever we want, But at this time, working to eat was the norm.

Among them, the job of a writer may have been a divine revelation for a writer, even for a writer, but it was in the category of a hobby, an intellectual’s other love, a job he liked.

Yozo is not able to understand his neighbors, and his last seduction of human beings is the one of a clown. Even his parents don’t get itAs he grew, the smell of solitude attracted women.

Dazai Osamu was not baptized, but he was passionate about the Reading Bible. This is recorded in the diary of Tomie Yamazaki, with whom he committed suicide, and he also carried a Bible in his bag when he went to see his other mistress, Shizuko Ota, the source of “Shayō” , Dazai once asked Tomie what Bible quotations had made the greatest impression on her.

“No longer Human” is the posthumously written work of Osamu Dazai and is said to be a semi-autobiography written by Tomie while she was nursing Dazai.If you read Tomie’s journal, you will understand why women are attracted by the hero and why they follow Dazai. 

Dazai said to Tomie, “Why not risk your life in Love?” She learns that Dazai is grieved by the Japanese who change after World War II,  Tomie got married during the war because her family feared she was late, and her husband never went back to Manila in the Philippines. She ended up a widow. Back in the day, no one could comfort his loneliness.

In “Phosphorescence”, written on June 3rd, 1947, Dazai describes her love for Tomie and her invocation of her husband around a fictional flower, phosphorescence. The audience didn’t know where to go with her love of her husband who died in the war.

The Society has not forgiven Tomie, only Dazai, and he has accepted his love for her husband.

If he was a ” good husband” as they called him in those days, and protected the family,There wasn’t any help for Tomie,As far as she was concerned, only Dazai, a married man, understood.

Society won’t stand for it?

It’s not society. you’re the one who won’t stand for it-right?

No longer human

Japanese people are asked what their favorite part of this work is, the majority of them might quote this. Dazai’s words, “the society will not forgive you”, and the commonplace phrase,

“You’re the one that doesn’t forgive me.” he said, Focus on the personality.

The weakening of the ego through society resembles the ego of the woman of the time. The focus is on marriage rather than on love as a first step. Even when husbands are Killed in action, there is language for mistreating women. 

Yasunari Kawabata and many other experts criticized him. As a result, Dazai’s life is a life of affirmation. Dazai lives by the women who affirm him. For example, he lives in his stories.

Yozo in “No longer human” is one of them.

The image of the woman in Japanese literature is less of a Christian woman. Even if unintentionally, a man’s monologue touching a woman is both a Bataillean “invasion of beauty” of women and, on the contrary, something like caging a small bird and loving it. Sensuality and feminine females live together in a familiar colloquial text. His image of women has neither the mature sexiness of the wife in Junichiro Tanizaki’s “The Key”, nor the refined elegance of Satoko in Yukio Mishima’s “Sea of Fertility”.

Dazai’s work is the most sober of all the Japanese writers’ portraits of women. In contrast to the reality of their emotional deaths, they are sober.  Just the fact that their cheeks are stained with tender emotions, that they speak openly of death in the midst of a subject in which life and love are weighed in the balance, is another charm of the literature of Dazai’s later years.

It is impossible to express diversity in words. There is always a question of ethics when there is so much to interpret. Yet there is always no solution. Dazai is a clown of the society, he avoids to be confronted with the truth, but he writes with words that do not bind people. In him there is no doctrine of ” Love is what it should be “. They seem to have no core, “No longer human”.

God, I ask you, is non-resistance a sin?

Disqualified as a human being.

Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

Everything passes.

Jesus would be saddened by this decision, which could be called pruning. There is a story that God is the farmer and Jesus is the vine. (John 15) Pruning does not mean cutting down the unwanted, but it means that Jesus, the trunk, is also grieved, representing the ” support oneself “. After pruning the tree, it produces sap. It is compared to the weeping of Jesus.

Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

Everything passes.

One pruned branch thought this way. Maybe it’s the voice of the protagonist and the literary artist.

It is not clear whether Osamu Dazai and Tomie Yamazaki were simply drowning in the Bible and extending it to romance.

It is not clear whether Osamu Dazai and Tomie Yamazaki were simply drowning in the Bible and extending it to romance. But as we get older, we realize that somewhere along the line, we reach a point where we can’t make it. Some people never notice the end of their life, whilst others feel it sooner.

Most people seem to be aware of it when they get cancer or when they are told that they have only a few days to live, but the awareness of death is particularly prevalent in Buddhism.  If you were in a Buddhist school, the first message was that the “possibility of death begins already when you are born”

The lesson was not new discovery. because I had noticed it myself.

Most of us are vaguely aware of death, but most of us relegate it to the corner of our minds because we are afraid of it. If I were to read Osamu Dazai to a child, “Run, Meros” is well known, and we learn about his feelings in the author’s biography. At the time, a friend of mine once read Dazai’s biography and asked me “why he committed suicide?”.

What I answered in my childhood mind was: ” He simply accepted death”.

Naturally, it is scary to disappear from this world without notice on my own. There are some deaths that we accept, like the rest of our lives. So what about suicide, we rarely get to know the true feelings of the dead person. No matter how much is written down, we are always looking for facts that are not written in words. Even if it is written down, we cannot read it as it was written. I have always suspected that there is a dying spirit as well as a dying body. It doesn’t matter how much you write about your spiritual death, other people can’t see it. What happens when the mind becomes so tired that it forgets to seek help?

In fact, even now, 73 years after his death, no one knows what Dazai Osamu Real intention. No one can understand the feelings of a pruned branch. “No longer human” does not lie about “the society” He is without hypocrisy.

Some perhaps will deride me.

What do you mean by not having faith in human beings?

When did you come a Christian anyway?

For the writer, doesn’t loving ultimately to mean remaining a writer? If that is what the women he loved wanted, so be it. Moreover, their deaths would be anathema to Christianity in this work. Nevertheless, without the ability to look at the imperfections of people, neither religion nor literature would be possible. The man of the piece ends up in hospital, while the author dies with his mistress. Without the ability to look at the imperfections of human beings, neither religion nor literature would be possible. The reality that created their “acceptance of death” and the fact that they had to make such a choice in the life they were given.

We must not forget that Jesus wept over such a decision.

We must not forget. If God (love) does not weep

Who will weep?

Pruning should not be considered solely for the proper growth of the vine.

When I was a child, I made no mistake in accepting that ” He simply accepted death”. In fact, the ” acceptance of a painful fate ” comes to all of us at some time. Many times the mind gets tired and the heart feels dead. Yet, the mind may come back to life. The mind will accept death. Over and over again

Feeling for love or death rises and falls repeatedly. Behind the simple expression, I hope that the sound and the thought will reach somewhere with a deeper sound than at that time.


I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.



De quaerendo Deum49














人間失格 太宰治
















「へぇ? お前はいつクリスチャンになったんだい」













あなたがたは、わたしが語った言葉によって既にきよくされている。 わたしにつながっていなさい。そうすれば、わたしはあなたがたとつながっていよう。枝がぶどうの木につながっていなければ、自分だけでは実を結ぶことができないように、あなたがたもわたしにつながっていなければ実を結ぶことができない。 わたしはぶどうの木、あなたがたはその枝である。もし人がわたしにつながっており、またわたしがその人とつながっておれば、その人は実を豊かに結ぶようになる。わたしから離れては、あなたがたは何一つできないからである。 人がわたしにつながっていないならば、枝のように外に投げすてられて枯れる。人々はそれをかき集め、火に投げ入れて、焼いてしまうのである。 あなたがたがわたしにつながっており、わたしの言葉があなたがたにとどまっているならば、なんでも望むものを求めるがよい。そうすれば、与えられるであろう。 あなたがたが実を豊かに結び、そしてわたしの弟子となるならば、それによって、わたしの父は栄光をお受けになるであろう。 父がわたしを愛されたように、わたしもあなたがたを愛したのである。わたしの愛のうちにいなさい。 もしわたしのいましめを守るならば、あなたがたはわたしの愛のうちにおるのである。それはわたしがわたしの父のいましめを守ったので、その愛のうちにおるのと同じである。 わたしがこれらのことを話したのは、わたしの喜びがあなたがたのうちにも宿るため、また、あなたがたの喜びが満ちあふれるためである。わたしのいましめは、これである。わたしがあなたがたを愛したように、あなたがたも互に愛し合いなさい。

Remembering L’ Amant(English.ver)

je suis la préférée de sa vie

I am his favourite part of life

L'histoire de ma vie n'existe pas. Ça n'existe pas. IL n'y a jamais de centre.

My life story doesn't exist, there is no such thing. There is no core to create a story.

(L’amant:Marguerite Duras)


Once the storm has passed, the last tense becomes beautiful. Love history is purified and unpleasant things disappear. Even the cruel and sorrowful parts vanish. Among them, the first love of a woman is most likely to fade away. Probably it is not even “forgotten”, as one would expect a form to be lying on the banks of a river, but it has disappeared as if it had never existed.I regret that I did not make a special note of the memory of the first love to writers, myself included. Duras’s “L’ amant” is his first love, but for a long time the protagonist is unaware of it. In my experience, men often remember the story of their first love. I don’t remember much, honestly. I don’t know when it was love, but then there’s a haze when I try to remember it.

I was dating a guy a few years ago and he asked me about my first love, but I have a semi-questioning narrative tone mixed with my English. I kept saying “maybe” as if it was not my experience. This usage is normally taboo in English-speaking countries.  it’s strange to say “Maybe” when it’s your own memory. Nevertheless, when it comes to my memories, it’s “maybe”.

He remembered his first girlfriend so clearly. It seemed that just by listening to him, the woman would come to life. I could even see them kissing with the scent of aquanaut. I was watching the zoetrope-like afterimages he was showing me. His memories are untainted and in constant motion.

I said, ” good memory,” and he said, “Chris too?” I said, “Maybe”

When he kept asking me about the past, I said, “Is it such a big deal?  I vividly remember the sound of my fork dropping on my plate. Up to this point, I had always smiled. But in the flow of words I recall, there is no smile. I guess this is my tone of voice now. The truth is that I was laughing and talking, but now I begin to feel sad.

On the metro train on the way home, I reflected on the beautiful afterimage of him. The ” Girlfriend ” he talks about loves him all the time, and it makes my own heart burn. It wasn’t jealousy, but perhaps a love for the way he remembered her. At this moment, I remembered “L’ Amant” written by Marguerite Duras. I felt defeated that she remembered her first love, with an overseas Chinese, which I suppose is a talent for a writer. The first time a woman is with someone, she probably doesn’t remember it. The “pure ego” is a difficult thing.  Once a relationship has lost its way, its way of functioning, once it has been positioned as ” not to love “, it does not allow the conceptual manifestation of having loved to take place. I kept forgetting for the sake of the new guy. I had to forget as a break.

The characters in this novel world have no names.  This man and woman seem to have expressed that they will not leave their names in history.

The girl’s family, tricked into poverty, lives in French Indochina. There she meets an older man, an overseas Chinese, with whom she has an affair. The man tells the girl that he loves her, even though he has been contracted to marry another woman. But the girl tells him that it was for money. After the wedding, the girl waits in the “common bedroom” for him to come again, but he never comes.  Thanks to his “support money” she is able to return to her hometown and notices that his car is parked there.

She rests her elbows on the handrail, just as when she first met him.

When the girl realizes that she has loved an overseas Chinese, the scene on the ship enters the minds of many readers.

With the realization that “I have lost confidence that I did not love him”, She was on the ship, not with him. Chopin’s waltz No. 10 in B minor, OP69-2, played on the cruise ship, is the piece that led the protagonist to give up the piano, but it seems to have finally run its course for her.

It frustrates the performer to be unable to play the piano, even though there is a complete score. But in the world of writing, she has completed Chopin’s music.  She has succeeded in making her readers listen. More than anyone else, more beautiful than any pianist, she has made Chopin heard.

The word “image” appears frequently in the book, and Duras uses it to describe all the glances and memories of her girlhood. In French, the word image can also mean a reproduction, an exact copy. The girl in the work is also a likeness of herself. In the film, a scene in which she puts her foot on the fence of a ship is very impressive.

Regardless of human sentimentality and the search for love, the Mekong River flows unchanged, passing trade and people. The water has no ego, no desire, it lives and it dies. The Mekong has always existed, without memory being able to contract eternity. As we grow old, we may forget. Remembrance, the ship, seldom departs. The ship is a symbol of substance. The girl’s elbows (or, in the film, her feet) on the fence of the boat are evidence of the reality of the image.

Why did Duras write about his memories as a teenager after all these years? Speculation and reader curiosity about why Duras wrote about his teenage memories after all these years became the wind in the girl’s hair.

She had succeeded in preserving her first love. Like the success of a long sea journey.

For the girl, God’s revelation was on the ships.

There is no scaffolding in the nature of immersion. Hiding from each other, a shady relationship was a world of disconnection between two people. We never introduced them to our friends, we never told our families. I was running down the stairs to the underground, avoiding the crowds, following the many open doors with wide eyes, when I heard a ring on my earpiece.

How happy I was to hear him say, “I had a great time”, and my feet moved away from the doors, as if to break away from the crowd.  Leaning against the platform wall, my feet hot in my heels, and waited for his reply. ‘I’m worried about you, call me when you get home,” he said, so I got on the next train.

Pleasant memories become melancholic stories at the end of the relationship.

Like the girl who said, “I’m old at eighteen”

The first love I tried to tell him about was the tale of how I eventually became a woman.  I wonder if there is a moment in a man’s life when becomes a man, I have never heard of it until now.

I had nothing to say except that I had become a woman.I couldn’t say, “I’d choke if I remembered the man “, and my hand slackened involuntarily and I dropped my fork.

That’s all I remember sometimes. Love between humans can hurt people to death .It gives and receives wounds, and when it is over, the tears are more for the good memories than for the sad ones.

Melancholy narratives are more than words, they are dreams.

Unbound by the confines of words, the heart is a dream that becomes an image.

I always dream that one day I will be able to tell a story that is only sad now, but that it was love. I keep dreaming about how a sad story can become love.

Duras has completed everything.

L’ Amantを想う

je suis la préférée de sa vie
L'histoire de ma vie n'existe pas. Ça n'existe pas. IL n'y a jamais de centre.
(L’amant:Marguerite Duras)








「Maybe」、昔のことを何度も聞かれることに対して「Is it such a big deal?(それはそんなに重要なこと?)」と言ったときに、皿に響いたフォークの落下音を鮮明に覚えている。ここまでの流れは常に笑顔だった。けれども、思い返す言葉の流れからはまるで笑顔が無い。これが今の私の語り口調だろう。本当は笑いながら会話をしていたのに、語りだす自分は物悲しい。

























*純粋自我 フッサール

Anniversary of one’s passing English.ver

ChrisKyogetu Acrylic painting(2004)incomplete
Do not grieve, do not mourn, Ananda. We have together taught. I have taught that all that is beloved and dear is a being that is parted and separated. How can we say, "O, don't tear it down," when it is born, exists, is formed, and is broken? It cannot be so. Thou hast done a good deed, O Ananda. You have done a fine deed. You will be pure in no time.

Today, the 17th of August, is the anniversary of the death of a friend. Sometimes I wonder if the soul of a friend misses this world, if he misses the world that we talked about as being boring together.

I sometimes talk to Buddhists, including him. “Do not grieve, do not mourn, Ananda. We have together taught”

We have preached this together.”

At that time, I tell them that I like the words of the Buddha.  Ananda was suffering from separation from love and Buddha was enlightened. This contrast is typical of Buddhism.

He was sitting alone with his macbook in his favorite cafe.

He didn’t tell me anything about his physical weakness.

He didn’t tell me anything about his health.

After his death, the songs he wrote were not accessible by password.

I joined Mixcloud for his songs, but his songs had disappeared.

I still get Mixcloud notifications that I haven’t unsubscribed from.

I get Facebook birthday notifications and his age keeps increasing.

I had been posting on his timeline every year on his birthday.

I had to recreate the old account myself and I couldn’t find him.

When I was told that he had passed away, I tried to find traces of him as if in a panic, and I felt impatient that I couldn’t do it while he was still alive. There was not much to report this year.

In the years since he died, there has been nothing to report.

 And even now I have nothing to tell him.

Because it was not the future he wanted.

We talked about the future of the world, of Japan, and I was pessimistic and he was hopeful.

The world was not what he had said it would be.

I wondered if his soul would still love this world.

I thought so.

 In faith, it is the dead who know the facts about the gods and Buddhas with whom they have talked.

In my letter to him I wrote “In a letter to him I wrote: “You have gone to the answer

More than the words of our prayers, more than the reach of our hearts and hands, the dead are always beyond the imagination of the living.

The dead are always beyond the imagination of the living. I remember him laughing and saying.

“I want a chance.”

I never thought that a few words could leave such a deep impression on me.

The everyday, always ordinary, can become a lifetime of scars and sayings in relation to others.

The cancer that had consumed him as a young man took him away as speedily as it could.

We still have a chance.

Anniversary of one’s passing

ChrisKyogetu Acrylic painting(2004)incomplete

































Assumption of Mary English.Ver

"Was the author of the Book of Revelation really not under the influence, so to speak, of a being who was in conflict with Jesus Christ? of the 'Schatten', as it is called in psychology" C. G. Jung, "The Aion".

A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head.  She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth.  Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads.  Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born. 5She gave birth to a son, a male child, who “will rule all the nations with an iron scepter.”And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne.  The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.

 Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back.  But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven.  The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

“Now have come the salvation and the power

    and the kingdom of our God,

    and the authority of his Messiah.

For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,

    who accuses them before our God day and night,

    has been hurled down……


On August 15, 2014, Assumption of the Blessed Virgin,I was baptized as a Catholic. Most people are baptized in the spring at Easter, but this was the only year that the baptismal service was also held in the summer. I had planned to attend a baptismal course with my fiancé at the time, but I went to the church he had chosen in June, just to see what it was like. While I was taking baptism alone, I had to attend a year-long study group, but the priest in charge at the time said he could fit me into the baptismal service in August. I asked my fiancé to let me in without asking for confirmation. At that time I didn’t know if it was an invitation from God or a betrayal, but I didn’t know that my relationship with him would deteriorate.

He intended to continue to love the Bible without being baptized, But I was convinced that he would come later, and I found myself with a bunch of lilies on August 15.

When the Bible reading began, “The temple of God in heaven was opened, and the …… woman was pregnant, but because of the pain and suffering of giving birth to a child, the …… dragon wanted to give birth to a child,” I turned my head and began to I had the chills when the reading started. is Revelation 12, the maiden, and the dragon. The dragon is said to be a heretical being and the woman is the Virgin Mary. This world of Revelation is the end of humanity and is depicted in cryptic prose and lyricism. In this chapter alone, This prefigures the dream of Joseph in Genesis 37, and the Bible itself writes about the beginning and end of the world.

The reason why I was so moved by the story is that the maiden and the dragon is a Jungian archetype, which I also dealt with in my work “Pagaea Doll”, in which I compared it to the dragon legends of East and West. Like the protagonist “Shoko”, I have been pursuing the “virginity of the imagination” since I was a child. As in the story of Borges, one can imagine and still resemble someone else. Without sympathy and admiration, the imagination is wounded, flattered, thirsty and lonely, aging and dying.

When I was painting in my teenage years, I sometimes thought that when I was free to create, I couldn’t find what I wanted to paint because I couldn’t find what I wanted to paint. The world I wanted to paint depends on my capacity to describe it, and I couldn’t even approach it. What I found out, what I might have known if I had studied philosophy, Hadd was already a pioneer in philosophers. It’s always changing my mind, searching for new discoveries. The time when the eye blinks, or the time to fall asleep, the opportunity is unpredictable and even the notebook is not ready. Without any time to think, drawing assignments arrive, study assignments arrive, and I waste my time on dreams.

 When I finally said that I wanted to make a religious painting, the adults did not agree with me, and I set off on a journey to concretize myself, without financial means.

Jung’s “archetypes” are even deeper than Freud’s unconscious: C.G. Jung remarked that Jesus and Mary do not appear directly in dreams as much as church people do. The Sun is Jesus, the Lilies are Mary, and they exist as symbols in the field of collective unconsciousness. Freud did not deny this statement from his own, but said he was having problems with it.I would later learn that Freud was right. Jung’s work is laborious for a man as exhausted as his patient. Myth and faith may have been a fading influence of 19th century science, but even if Jung’s theory was correct, it was probably obvious that neither theology nor religion, or more specifically myth and fable, would become stronger in the 20th and 21st centuries, and that the masses would no longer understand them. That is why the “archetypes” are so isolated from their patients.

I was in primary school when I wrote the story of the dragon. I already had an idea for the story of Shoko’s childhood in “PangaeaDoll”. I knew the book of Revelation chapter 12 from a Bible I found in a Christian friend’s house. I didn’t know what it meant, but it fascinated me as a fantasy story about the dynamism of this wriggling dragon and the obsession with a maiden (the Immaculate Heart of Mary).

What do I want to show? I was looking for a place for the significance of the “something” that was born. Eventually I quit painting because I no longer wanted to be understood, and I lived in my writing. I will live for my existence, even though no one in particular asks me to. In order not to be crushed by others, my thoughts go beyond my language and my imagery and become even more passionate. An inexpressible pain in my chest, my soul dreams of rising. For such a man, the dragon was a symbol of uncontrollable ” Sensation “. It followed the maiden Mary as she fled from the clutches of King Herod. It was such a struggle to have faith or not to have faith. There was doubt and a constant shadow of the Bible. Such is the world of the unconverted. It was always ridged like a serpent and moved with a lot of heat.

The dragon who wanted to eat the maiden (Jesus) seemed to me to be a conflicted baptismal candidate itself. Especially the dragon of chapter 12, which followed Mary, may be so. The Baptist is also a pagan.

Nevertheless, after his baptism in 2014, the maiden and the dragon were not read until today, in 2021. Even the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary festival was not attended after this. Even though they participated in other ordinary Masses and ceremonies. They were not there. For a long time, I never regained the sense of baptism.Part of the reason I wanted to write another track, and also because I had already lost the dragon to my heart. I never thought about grief, a pagan symbol.

Every time I went to mass, I wore a white veil, but after my friend died, I wore a black veil. I began to remove the veil in time, and although I always carried a Bible, I no longer do.

The world I saw after my baptism was a world of grace and solitude waiting for me.  The soul of an artist can only live in his work, and with that revelation in my heart, I had been hopeful, only to find myself on the edge of a cliff.

In 2018, I was standing in front of suicide.

Sound is said to be uninformed, and so is the existential nature of language. The tongue is a background of symbols, on which concepts exist. A concept has a meaning as a word, but it is synthesized by a series of words. The linguistic world is a composite one. Languages are not by themselves. Although you need someone to understand it, it is often not understood.

It was Christianity that clarified why words existed, as John’s Gospel says: “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God”. Just as in Russia, where there was no clear language in the beginning, language was created as Christianity spread.

The language is isolated. But it is to God, it is the mystery of the word. and I didn’t feel so alone.

Many have said to me, “Why won’t you write free?”

I’ve been asked by many people, but I’ve never answered. I don’t feel lonely with this question any more, because I realize that I don’t need to answer it in particular. What started as giving up is already “freedom”.

The beginning was a painful “freedom”. Baptism did indeed give freedom. The surrogate mother who wiped the holy water dripping from my hair, the priest who celebrated, all those who surrounded me, we will never gather in the same place again. They will never come together again. The bouquet of lilies that I carried at that time is still blooming in my memory, although it has vanished already. The people I loved then, the people I left, the people I met, the sight I saw when I looked up, where I smiled towards, the characters of this moment, my emotions, will never represent my “now” again, they will never come into my sight.

For a long time I wondered whether I should accept this disappearance or leave it as a memory of my baptism again.

After seven years of hesitation, I finally looked back on this time.

Indeed, at the time of my baptism, my soul was joyful.

15 August 2021 

baptismal certificate

Om det oändliga(English.ver)

" life does not seem to be so sure and prosperous.

Arimasa Mori (By the Streams of Babylon)

In a story, there is a protagonist who reveals what seems to be true feelings. This is what makes a story simple to understand, and is often the case in Manga. But when it comes to art, to the pursuit of an idea, it is possible to write about people and leave the audience behind. If there is a time limit to the number of pages in a work, or to the duration of a film, then a life is artificially speeded up within that limit. Perhaps it is Roy Andersson’s “Om det oändliga” that falls short. There is no narrative technique here. It seems to me that human life is a series of inorganic things, and that there is an existence in motion that others cannot see. It is not a horror, it is a comical story.

For me, the scene in which a human imitation of Jesus walks down Golgotha Hill was comical. The modern costumes, cut down to the expense of a modern opera, the farce of a narcissistic director by his side, were truly an expression of the irony of the modern artist. Or perhaps this is a fashion show for a high brand that makes you think meaningfully. It was irony at its best in this day and age, when critics will praise anything to get a sale, even a bad one, because they want a job. The dream is of a pastor who has lost his faith.

And the pastor, who drinks a glass of wine before the service, was very funny.

People’ expectations of a story begin with their perception of it in their conscious world. It requires imagination to find commonalities and differences between one’s own conscious world and the conscious world of the work, and to fill them. Next, we move on to our own ideals. It is at this point that the work is sometimes evaluated as deviating from its essence. Some people are disciplined enough to read the intentions of the work, while others judge it on the basis of whether it conforms to their own desires.

Descartes found consciousness and innate ideas, but he could not find the real mind.

Science has returned to Descartes again and again, but the real mind is still unclear, even in neuroscience. For anyone who has been able to sort out consciousness from Husserl’s establishment of intersubjectivity to Heidegger’s immanence,

If you are able to organize your consciousness from Husserl’s inter-subjectivity to Heidegger’s immanence, you may find that this film is close to what Heidegger calls “Das Man”.

There is no wise man in this world who lives in his true nature. The film portrays a man who is always buried in a world of cloudy skies and non-essentials. We expect the existence of a person who has stepped out of the world like a person who lives his true nature. One of them is the presence of a role model in the character’s ” truthfulness “.

One of them is the presence of a model student.

I think that the truthfulness is more difficult to find than love. True feelings and love are related to each other, but But they work in different ways.

For example, I have a cat, Adam, who sometimes wakes me up suddenly in the morning. I am sleepy and have a hard time, but I don’t mean to, I don’t feel obliged to, and I always get up, even if I am a little late.

I never complain, I feel that I feel that I really love him.

Love is thus unplanned. If the camera had followed the description of Adam’s embrace and the treatment of him, we would have seen love there.  But if the film stops only at my drowsy inability to wake up quickly, my true feelings seem to be exhausted. My true feelings are unreliable and uninteresting to judge in a short time.

“Om det oändliga” lacks that kind of description that we expect.

People probably assume that there is something “truthfulness” in the work, but the truthfulness is cut out.

However, they can see their own expectations in it. If we wanted to see an unbelieving pastor turn. It would be I can forgive him for drinking wine twice before the service.

That’s how much I value the Holy Family, and how little I know about my own consciousness.

It’s the opposite of what the PR people want, but it’s a place where what you want has been cut out. However, I thought it was a kaleidoscope in which I could see what I wanted in what was cut out.

I think I will continue to delve into the real heart, good and evil, and love.

A lighter version of this is on twitter, but the interpretation is subject to change.

I see it as a new kind of realism. It might be an irony for people who, in more recent years, have lost sight of the authority of the individual voice, and who are no longer able to do more than make a fuss on social media about just that. It is now only celebrities and cartoons that pretend to be conscience or good. But is it possible to enjoy a fictional world that is not so different from the real one? This world exists like a painting, a fictional world itself.

And it is realistic. People don’t think about the rest of the story that was not shown. We look at the outside world with a narrow perception, unaware that it represents so much of who we are. We don’t realism that we are living in a world that has forgotten to enrich the inner world. I don’t understand the meaning of this film because I’m not aware of it.

my lovely Adam. My little one

SoarⅠ (English.ver)

Catholicism had yet to be philosophically organized.
Simone weil

There are many genres of fiction today, One of the things I love about literature is that it makes use of what is really only a record. A simple lost love can be embellished by a single word, a forgotten dead can have a meaning. The loneliness that people tell us to forget, the happiness that seems so ordinary, all depend on our own sensibility, and we can decide whether our life is just a record with oblivion or a shining life.

It is left to the sensibility of the writer to verbalize and leave behind the succession of moments that disappear from the world that no one picks up. Perhaps those who have such a point of view are those who are terrified of the moment disappearing as it is. Some people are happier to forget, others to talk about their misfortunes, so that their loneliness becomes cathartic through monologue.

For these people, the ability to speak their own language is important.

As for me, I create in the fictional world the heat that I did not live in the real world. There may be many emotions that I have killed for social reasons, but the emotions that I could not delete and the place where my faith lives is the fictional world. It is an introversion, but an extroversion that challenges the world. I’ve never been pessimistic about it.

Artists are left with only two choices: mere madness or genius. Van Gogh and Caravaggio are good examples. And Emilie Bronte, whose inner world was immeasurably darker than the one she wrote about in “Wuthering Heights”. A true artist does not look for “genius” to win the admiration of others. The poetic sentiment and the way of looking at things that he could not abandon is a God-given gift, and that is what he is in Christianity. The sensibility that almost killed me many times when I was urged to be social was never socially disadvantageous to me in life. What’s next is to find out if this really was a gift from God.

I want to know the answer to the question of whether it really was. Vladimir Nabokov’s “The Gift” is such a story, and it is also the story of Nabokov’s alter ego in exile in Russia.

One term I have coined is “Soar point”. It has taken me many years to get this theory down to an understanding.

I’m going to write about it in an irregular series.

 In the fictional world, there is no standard height of land. It is a world of language.

I try to write about light, temperature, color and space. The writing is plain, sober, rhyming, It is pregnant with poetic sentiment,

The words are like music, even the spaces between the letters are meaningful, and the protagonist walks through the world I have created, manipulating them.

The first work, ‘Pangaea Doll’, is based on a real patient in a laboratory in England. She was a patient who was strange, but who did not know where she had gone in the real world. The intersection of dream and reality was a psychological and scientifically possible delusion. But the name of the disease was something I made up. It was my first fictional world.

In the second work, “Iconograph”, there is no prominent fictional object, but the clock tower of a mechanical clock becomes imaginary. The phenomenology of the “bird’s nest” is based on the 13th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel.

Jesus was at sea, on a boat where no plants could grow. So he compared the Word of God to a seed. Some seeds can be sown in one place, but the birds will come and eat them. Other seeds fell on stony ground, where the soil was not deep enough and they sprouted quickly, but when the sun came up, they were burnt and withered away because they had no roots. It is difficult for the plant, the Word of God, to grow. ”Listen if you have ears.“The boy who hears these words and The protagonist, Kawamura Koune, goes on a journey of thought to hear God’s blessing. In Japan, Christianity is frowned upon if you don’t like it, and the characters cross over from longing for faith to oblivion, to disgust, and back to blessing. If this were the only explanation, people would mistakenly believe that there is no romance in this novel. That’s the trouble. There is love and death in this story too.

But the first reason I don’t say this is because I believe that waiting for the assessment of a mediocre love affair or death is just an emotional assessment. It is a sad fact that the real world is the same way. Death is equal, but there are special graves for special deaths, and classes for the deaths of the unconscious and the body. But the soul is equal, and the literary world can save even the most unlikely of beings. Literature must have the fervor to express what the masses have ceased to say. Love and death cannot be conveyed by begging only for sympathy, even if it is true. The soul may live without emotional sympathy if it is metaphorically told how the world works and how God works in it. The external world is rarely captured. But the enrichment of the inner world can make even an empty life seem like a footnote.

Many times I have been opposed to adding philosophy or religion to literature, but I have never given in. Perhaps it is because I know how cruel it is to assess the feelings of others. It follows that one’s own words do not grow, and that the same is true of God.

If the Word of God is a plant, it is the bird that spins it into a nest that grows beautifully. The bird’s nest is not only a bird’s nest, but also a part of the human world that it picks up and builds.

My fictional world is such a phenomenology. It represents the formation of orientation, the world created by orientation, while waiting for the analysis of existence. My literature is thus an amalgamation of spins, and there is no such thing as a complete lie. The heat that did not live in this world becomes a fiction.

Just as a bird’s nest still does not know exactly how to nest with precision, so I weave my experiences, my fantasies.  From the fictional “land” of the precise nest, uncertain of how it is completed, my story takes Soar. And the seeds dropped by these birds of fancy can grow or disappear. The reader’s understanding constructs a third world as a plant that grows. That image is both sad and hopeful.

The story must always take flight and Soar .

I have called it the ‘Soar point’.

Continued from (2) (Irregular)







私の場合は、現実世界に生きなかった熱量を虚構世界に作る。社会性を重視して殺してしまった感情も多くあるかもしれないが、殺せなかった感情や、信仰が生きる場所は虚構世界だった。それは内向的であるが、世界に挑む外向性だった。 私は一度もそれに悲観的になったことはない。




















Johan Liebert is the titular character in “Monster“but Not drawn by the author. It’s a homage.
Author unknown. Additions are required.



母さん はなさないで

Monster 浦沢直樹















































L’éternel substitut(jp and english ver)

Le temps est une image de l’éternité, mais c’est aussi un ersatz de l’éternité.


Time is a reflection of eternity. But it is also a substitute for eternity.

Simone Weil (Renoncement au temps)


解説: 永遠というのは時間を伴うが、時間が有限であるのに対して永遠は無限を表す。しかし、私達は永遠を知覚することは出来ない。時の区切りは、永遠の一部、だから永遠の代用品。la éternitéの略。

Explanation: Eternity involves time, while time is finite, eternity represents immutability. However, we cannot perceive eternity. Time is part of eternity and therefore a substitute for eternity.

The Little Mermaid and Christian Existentialism(English.ver)

Edmund Dulac
Night after night, morning after morning, the little mermaid went to the beach to see if she could find her prince.

Andersen's The Little Mermaid

Andersen’s “The Little Mermaid” is one that makes me think over and over again. I won’t comment on the Disney version

I’m not going to comment on the Disney version of “The Little Mermaid” because I don’t care for it, but many commentaries on the original story end with the Little Mermaid turning into bubbles and dying, when in fact there is more to the story.

But in fact there is more to the story. The little mermaid, who did not get a human soul, does not go to heaven but becomes a spirit. It is explained to her that she is not a bad spirit and that she can go to heaven after 300 years. If she comes into contact with a good child, her day will be one day earlier, but if she meets a bad child, it will be one day later. Andersen’s message to the children is.

Be a good boy so that the Little Mermaid can go to heaven as soon as possible.

The Little Mermaid is made up of three main elements.

(1) existentialism


(3)Christian thought

The Little Mermaid is said to have been influenced by Fouquet’s “Undine”. For the Christian world, the Holy Spirit of water lives apart from the grace of God. Probably this is based on the biblical interpretation that water existed from the beginning of Genesis. Such a confrontational being tries to become a human being, which makes the reader imagine what it means to be human. The setting was such that a being like the Little Mermaid would not be as short-lived as a human being. And most of all, they were afraid of death. Mermaids can live for 300 years, but after death they turn into bubbles.In the world of mermaids, the old people do not doubt that they are happy to live 300 years longer and drift away in bubbles, and only the youngest mermaid princess yearns for human death and soul. Only the youngest, the mermaid princess, yearns for human death and the soul, as well as for eternity.

For her, it was “love” that gave her the opportunity to do so. The world of mermaids can ascend to the world of humans at the age of 15. For these girls, it was their one chance to see the world that God had created. Each of the sisters has seen the world of God’s grace in different ways. From the bottom of the water to the top, it is the same for the believer to see each landscape. It is often misunderstood that each landscape is different, just as each believer is unique, even though they read the same Bible. The immanent world of the mermaid (later refuted by Husserl) is existentialist, just as Kierkegaard said that we must quit chasing ‘truth’ and challenge philosophy by separating philosophy from theology. Only the youngest, the Little Mermaid, has acquired something called “love”. Love is the feeling of wanting to connect with someone. With the occult mysticism of the witch, she became a human being.

However, she has lost her voice and her legs hurt. To get rid of this, she had to be discovered by the prince.

The Little Mermaid is a symbol of the “poor” for Andersen. The mermaid is a symbol of the “poor ” for Andersen, a man who had almost no human rights, but who thought calmly about how he could get his rights, which were financial. In the world of the Bible, language is considered to be important. That’s what the first chapter of John’s Gospel says This is because in the first chapter of John’s Gospel, the Logos hymn, “With God was speech”, is also attributed to man.

The pain in the feet is because the legs were the proof that he had become a man from a mermaid, and because the biblical world values that there is always suffering during life.

When you read the original story in detail, the Little Mermaid is actually loved by the prince. He is searching for the little mermaid after she has fallen and disappeared. The prince and princess are grieving the loss of the little mermaid and are staring at the sea foam.

It was agape, not dyeing, not erosive. It is perhaps ironic that the poorer a person is, the less he or she is able to achieve real happiness and the more he or she has to depend on God’s love, the love of God, the love that surrounds him or her, agape. In order to exist as a human being, the Little Mermaid had to obtain something substantial.In order to have human rights, she had to belong to an authority such as a prince.In order to have human rights, she had to belong to an authority such as a prince.  The love of marriage is substantial and mysterious.

Marriage is one of the most mysterious things in Christendom. The irony of this is existentialism and realism. This story exists in both.

At first glance, “I fell in love with a prince” seems like an optimistic dream.

Compared with, for example, Charles Perrault’s fairy tales about a nobleman’s daughter, Andersen’s cruelty is out of line. But he believed in the love of God.

This drift is well expressed in Andersen’s work.

I have heard that the only people who were not hostile to Andersen were the children he read to.I have heard it said. He wanted the children to love the Little Mermaid, to feel pure pity for her. And we read to them to remind them to be good so that she can go to heaven one day.

And as we grow older, we are influenced again and again by the pure love of the Little Mermaid.  She must have found happiness. She fell in love with a prince in the world of God’s grace.

She fell in love with a prince in the world of God’s grace.

This is not a sad story. It is a look at what we do.

MakotoTakahashi”The little Mermaid”


Edmund Dulac























Der Vorleser(English.Ver)

Bernhard Schlink

The story takes place in Germany, where Michael, then 15, becomes jaundiced on his way to school and is found and nursed by Hanna, 36, who is a year older than him. They eventually become romantics, but for some reason Hanna invites the protagonist to read some books to her. One of the books, Odysseus, is estimated to have taken place in the 1200s BC, during the time of the Trojan War and the Mycenaean civilization. In the eighth century BCE, Homerosu put together a collection of stories based on the 400 years of Trojan warfare that had been handed down by “oral tradition”. (The Iliad and Odysseas )

The protagonist, born after the Second World War, reads this lore and facts for Hannah.

Hanna has many secrets and suddenly disappears from his sight. The protagonist cannot accept her loss but forgets about it. The year is 1960 and the world is in the throes of a student movement.

He is now a university student. While attending a seminar on the trial of Nazi war criminals, he finds himself standing in front of

Hanna, whom he had once loved.

She was a prison guard in a concentration camp.

As the trial progressed, the hero remembered that Hanna had asked him to read a book. As he watched her trial, the protagonist realised that Hanna was illiterate. She couldn’t read and had moved from one job to another before it became known that she couldn’t read.

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she was a Roma from Romania. In front of the print that she could not read, she opened the door to the world only with his voice. She immersed herself in the warmth of his skin and the world that his voice took her to, knowing that one day she would meet her fate. The trial is a life sentence against her, without her realising that she is illiterate.

In the trial of the concentration camp officials, the key question was whether they had intended to kill her or not, but it was recorded that Hannah had read books to the prisoners. At that point, it was false.

Michaela was unable to love another woman, even though she had long since forgotten Hanna.

He has been in contact with his father, a professor of philosophy, about Hannah. Finally, Hanna is pardoned, but thanks to the help of the protagonist, she is able to write, and after.



When “The Reader” became popular, many felt disgusted by the romance between a 15-year-old and a 36-year-old.

Judging them only by their age and their bodies, they called the love of another person, even if it was fiction, freaky.

People are equal in soul if you take off their skin, but they don’t care about that. But they don’t understand what it means to be separated by age. Could they have expressed the intertwining of the protagonist, who had never heard of this war, and the woman whose job was to be judged by the world? At a time when people assumed that people who were like war criminals were evil, there was nothing but love between two people who did not know each other’s position. I don’t dwell too much on the “Nazis”. It is a story of love.

The fictional world, which incorporates reality, allows us to write about love, slipping past the arguments that cannot be conceded in the real world.

Only in stories can the possibility of love be described in the midst of all the hatred.

An American writer once told me that writers can hear the voices of their characters in their heads. The written world is unique, without sound, time or color. It is up to the writer to decide what kind of loneliness and emotion he or she feels within it, but for the writer, publication is just a voice.

In the hands of the reader, he or she constructs a third world out of the world of the novel, and begins to understand his or her own novel. And they wonder. And they wonder. I want a reader. (Perhaps a film adaptation would be the most desirable these days.

I hadn’t looked very carefully, but when I found a reader, the world opened up to me.

Her beloved Michaela had a future to live up to in the famous words of the Odyssey. Hannah is not given such a thing. The author’s choice of this classic has many implications.

Every human being has a monologue. Her life was one in which she was never allowed to have hope again.
The reading from him, temporarily young, was a new world, his own monologue.
He must have been a spokesman for her.

The author’s choice of the classic “The Odyssey” has many implications: it shows that even among those who must be judged, there is love. Only a novel can do this. There is no other reality in which you can write about unforgivable love in a fictional world and say publicly that even war criminals had love.


The film title, oddly enough, was Japanese: ” 愛を読む人”.

The love formed by a voice disappears the fastest. The love formed by the voice fades away the fastest. Of the five senses, it is the voice that we lose first in memory. Next comes sight, touch, taste and smell.

Michael sent a tape he had recorded again for Hanna. With “The Odyssey”.

But he didn’t sound the same as he did then. She did not recognise his love.

She didn’t recognize it as his love, but as a voice that was trying to rehabilitate her.


I thought it was Hannah’s impulse to commit suicide.

Perhaps. The voice of the young man she loved had disappeared.


Who was the reader of the Holocaust?

The new reader for her was not the man she loved.

If there had been no war, we would have been souls of the same age and background. And yet it was a sad story of division.  But judgement cannot divide us from love. Even if we are torn apart, the past, in which his voice lived, lives on, even if it disappears from our memories.

Love” remained as a residue.

*about Obysseus quote: This is a sentence from Odysseus and is not mentioned in the novel.*

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