Corps sans Orgues et Amour (English)

Deleuze et Guattari
She had a pregnant pause that only literature could confess.

Georges Bataille, Literature and Evil

At the beginning of every Catholic Mass there is always a time of reflection about “evil”. How many of us have a clear vision of our own minds in those few minutes? The human mind is multi-layered and multifaceted. It is not easy. The Catholic Church is not a building. The agape of Jesus is the heart, and the believer is the “body”. That is why, before the Mass, the body needs to ask its heart. Its heart is yes. In self-knowledge and cognition, it “thinks” what is not thought through difference and repetition. Like the ‘introspection’ which began psychology, it kneels religiously and returns to the primitive. In 2018, I changed the word attempted suicide to “accidental” If a person who has lost the option to live comes back to life, they don’t immediately have the conditions to live. This fact also leads to the proximity of the extort, so that the additional silence is imposed on me below the surface.

 In 2019, my kitten Adam was born. His existence was a ramous light which came to me after a long time of loss only to live. He lives in innocence with his blue eyes full of light. Touching the mystery of life was a distance from death; Beginning to live in the present gave me a bud. I did not know when this Angel was planned to be born, nor did I know, as a matter of course, that this little soul was planned to be born in the past. I couldn’t wait for this happiness to come at the time. Like the sentence in Osamu Dazai’s work about “the schoolgirl“:Waiting, waiting, waiting for happiness, until at last, unable to hold back, he runs away from home.

“I can’t write any more“ 

I could not find the cause of the words that looked like Dazai or why such words were used, nor did I know how influential they were. Just as the Bible is a language of creation, so literature needs a creative, poetic language, not a plain one.  I had lost “my language” and was too tired to write even a simple sentence. It was not enough to sleep for a night or two. Then, at the end of 2020, I met someone with a beautiful voice. He had such a beautiful voice that I wanted him to read me something to try. So, from a review of Osamu Dazai, which I had been working on before my accident in 2018, I suggested that he try reading Dazai. The famous line, “ Mine has been a life of much shame “, is where we begin.

There was no visual information in the recorded reading. But his voice, beyond my hearing and the small verbal information I had, would create synesthesia. His voice was not merely a fashionable voice, it had subtleties, it had impermanence in its depths while expressing a soft personality. The story of choosing the apostles of Jesus is well known, but it seems that he did not need a man who perfectly embodied the teachings of God. Then I thought of the concept of «Corps sans organes» by Deleuze and Guattari.

First and foremost, I just wanted his voice to become a part of me. My writing world had become a machine-reader world. Vocaloids resemble the human voice, but they don’t breathe. If a human puts out a cover, respiration comes in. In the same way, his voice makes the text come alive. René Descartes’ “I think, therefore I am” also begins to exist when we are conscious that our own heart beats, but that is not always the case with art.

In the real world, we do not check whether the hearts of the people we pass are beating or not. However, art has no meaning if it is not seen in that way. If we think of the way in which we perceive damage to a masterpiece, for example, we can understand the meaning of “heart”.

Because The world of painting is a mathematically based world of proportions. All abstract painting demands this. Relying on “senses” for this means that the increase in the number of sensory blocks is only a change in the degree of intensity.

It is obvious that what constitutes I need not be my organism, but I am constituted by others, and if that were the only explanation, it would be ” Otherism ” and ” Polysemy “. I exist because of him, it is not so. But it’s a misunderstanding. Le Corps san Organes is “univocity”. Going back to the history of the apostles of Jesus, they were various. God’s love means that if the sole purpose is conversion, it can be anyone at random. If the only purpose is to convert, it can be done by force. That is unity without the love of God. Jesus did not force his apostles’ hearts by violence or brainwashing. In proof of this Judas betrayed Jesus and Peter said he did not know Him. If Jesus had been brainwashed, such things would not have happened. And as anyone who understands modern religion can tell you, liking Paul does not separate you from Jesus.

Because they are a ” Univocité ” in love (agape).

 Philosophy will go about confronting religion in the next few years, but if we trace the origins of the two, they will coexist with each other, and these two beings may also be “Corps sans

 Organs”. The confining of each party to a particular role has meant a mutual decline. The perception of God’s love will always be distorted if it remains confined to the organs. The same is true of philosophy. Philosophers who have not read the Bible are, after all, subject to Deleuze’s “bêtise”. Various possibilities of combination must be sought for new junctions.

Deleuze and Guattari may also have embodied the «Corps san Organes». The two contrasts became a rhizome between linkage and separation, (a rhizome eternally identical) and succeeded in ” exist ” in a way that I can now hold in my hands. Philosophy is not a mere inorganic treatise. It gives pleasure to reason and intellect from generation to generation. It must be the same with the love of God.

The quotes I have chosen are all words of love and light. The destination of the world of writing is not to change people. It is about empowering people to think. Words empower people in all kinds of ways. Words and silence, gazing into the abyss in silence. His abyss and mine are not connected. But we will become one.

Recently, God blessed you, he told me.

“God bless you” is a phrase I hold very dear. I said it to a friend who died in absurdity, and God blessed him. I have chosen it so carefully that I have never neglected it. Now, I let him(boyfriend) read them because I sincerely wanted to give him my blessing. And even the days when I don’t want to think of anything, when I’m too tired to think of anything, even in the dark, because I haven’t planned for a long time, but I love you.

God bless you.

We are feeble but strong.
We have the poorest talent.
Just until the day we can be in the past tense.
God bless you.


ジョルジュ・バタイユ 「文学と悪」















処女作品の「Pangaea Doll」を器官なき身体と評価された。

To the poorest talent (English)

My dear, I implore you, will not die. Blind affection, as it calls itself,If you die, your Vacancy will be at my side forever.
Osamu Dazai, The Defeat of Thought


 Butterflies passing through the sea lie on the surface of the sea. And the wings, weighed by the water, fly away. Even if the little existence by the side of death disappeared, the ocean would only stir. The scent of the waves swallows you up, and Garcia Marquez compares the sea of dead bodies with the scent of roses. The smell of the tide is mixed with the smell of the rose and the perfume of the dream rose becomes thicker with the dark at sunset.

It falls asleep, the sun’s reverie.

Only the sound of the wave remains, and reverberation attempts. Nobody goes looking for the body of the butterfly.

Just the right amount of desperation, Debussy’s music called La Mer.

2018 was the centenary of Debussy’s death,

In the end, consciousness didn’t move a finger.

Psychology is the study of life and death, and the mechanism of mind has been proven and tested many times. Even what is natural to the mind is still at the research stage.

The research is released and then buried, In our epoch, Christianity was strong in its total affirmation of life. Doctrines existed as doctrines, the assumption that God’s love existed unchecked, and yet my heart was dry.

As for love, as far as human love is concerned, it is deduced in psychology through scores and circumstances. However, he may still be interested in me, he may still look at me sexually, but an inner love is unimpeded as faith. It was more certain that this supreme thing was God’s love than man’s ever-changing love.

Believe or not believe, the condition exists as a good response apart from consciousness.

Should I ask for the love of God to heal me, or the love of a man to heal me?

I couldn’t believe it either.

First of all, I couldn’t form words with my consciousness any more, if not in fragments.

Keeping it hidden, I kept quiet about how I couldn’t write my work anymore. In the middle of all this, I lied, thinking of my dried-up love.

I took a pill mid-way through the meeting,Another day I had to take a pill before I got to the hotel.

I paid extra for the water,The shell of the drug resembled this butterfly which was never searched. All secrets lie in my belly, devouring me alone.

There was an earthquake of magnitude 6 in June 2018. The earth quaked and I had no idea what had happened. I thought I could die, but I didn’t call the guy I was dating back then.

Because it would hurt me if he walked out on me,I avoided it because I was scared of the result. I should have said goodbye before.

Ugliness and malice exist in human love but love also includes believing. Love between human beings falls and becomes sinful, but the love of God goes beyond human understanding.

Human beings believe in protection,Human beings choose their own selves rather than the love of others, but God does not.

Psychology, philosophy, this unholy notion that without this ugliness, there would be no vitality in life. We are raised by fate, so we mix them together and, blushing through our enthusiasm, we are still precious today.

Each time I repeat a bit of despair, a smile fills my face and Little by little, we become increasingly convinced of our limitations.

――The angels come and mock us because we are not so happy in heaven.

Only today, 3 years later, did I read part of the suicide note. I was writing as if I didn’t hate anyone, when I really did. And the writing was terrible.

I can understand that my language was broken and that I could not write any more. It seems like I’ve been in a desperate situation, but I couldn’t write, not just today, I couldn’t write long ago.

It was in October, always warm and damp, the day of the International Mass. I was afraid of something, afraid of something, and hate spread from one form to another.

My friend cleaned the bloodstain and Adam the cat came. So I thought he was an angel. I remembered Lucifer that day, but he was missing. Adam had many blessings. Adam, why I need him forever brings me back to that day.

We often see people who have been victimized by others reveal their worst days when they succeed. People say” ” I took revenge on those who discriminated against me, I overcame the fact that I was oppressed” Well, people usually connect to their worst days and So we stay away from the best.

Quiet tames the bad days, but the best days are crushed by the bad days,Tranquility tames the worst days, but the best days are crushed by the worst days.

On this day in 2021, I did not dare choose any part of the Bible. I chose those words by Osamu Dazai, who says that if you die, I will miss the empty space. I was under the impression that his love for me was a divine word. Perhaps this is what I wanted to hear,But I couldn’t hear that.

I’ve been helped by so many people that I don’t know who thanks everyday.

I don’t know where I’m going since the most unwise day.

And that voice reading gave a beautiful voice to my long-lost world. It has been a long and thoughtful journey. I want to rest beside this beautiful voice now, so that the worst days are far away. I want to write something that will use that beautiful voice. The butterfly has awoken from sleep. I promised you a trip, and I’ll go someplace with you.

Readers and writers

To the poorest talent



2016 I called an ambulance for chest pains.

2017 I was constantly on stabilizers, anti-vertigo, and various medications.

2018 Words became choppy in my consciousness.

2021 Recovering on heart and liver medication.(Stop taking psychotropic medication and change to heart medication such as Vasolan )

It was Dazai Osamu who wrote this suicide note: “I can no longer write”

I had no awareness of the words, but I knew them.

It’s not that I couldn’t think about a story, it’s just that there was a time when my words went missing. I don’t mean whether it was a psychological problem or a side effect of the medicine,It took me a while to settle everything without it getting too heavy.

Even after my Catholic conversion, in some of the best days of my life but I got flash backs from that day.

For instance, when people succeed, they expose the worst days of their lives.

I declare that I am overcome.

In my best days, I can’t stop thinking back to my worst days. For me, in the past three years, there has not been one day that I have been able to really rejoice, except for Adam.

I want to reorganize my articles and, in a number of ways, reconstruct them.

Starting with him doing the readings.

I would like to thank everyone for their help. Thank you very much.

The poorest talent, from the gospel. ” Blessed are the poor in spirit”.

No longer human (English.ver)

And lastly, there's still a way to seek God in you. That is, there are ways of doing away with things that are limited. For if artists look for the face of the King in the soul of a tree, they will leave everything behind for the love of that face.
Nicolaus Cusanus-De quaerendo Deum 49


 It would be easy to be misunderstood as an infantile mind when talking about Dazai Osamu’s ‘No longer human’, but as of 2021 Dazai Osamu is famous, but whether he ranks high or low alongside the great masters of the Showa period, (1926~1989)he is not even sure. What was his essence, after all, is still not settled. Seventy-six years after the war, here we are. I realized again that this is the allure of Dazai for me.

I hear Dazai’s collection sells well in the summer and it looks like it’s selling well now. There are those who say that his colloquial style lacks the intellectuality of the great writers. The fact that he wrote with such sensitivity about something so trivial may raise both religious and philosophical questions. His sensitivity is also characterized by the fact that his works are not full of metaphors and technical details, Instead, a series of words are used in everyday life.

I’ve grown up, the reason I mention Osamu Dazai again is that, as a Christian, I know and admire other authors whose ideals of love and life and death are quoted in Catholic newspapers, but even after two years of convalescence,I was unable to find a source of language as deep-rooted as theirs. I saw a lot of light and love, I decided that time was of the essence, considering my age and my illness.

When I said, “If I translate in English, I’ll address it to somebody who understands Dazai.” it was a declaration of my defeat and a sign of my resumption. However, I cannot write about Dazai Osamu in one article, So I will be writing about it in a number of articles.

“No longer human” and “Osamu Dazai”

The protagonist, Yozo, from childhood was a beautiful boy,It could not, however, be attributed to the contemplation of happiness and had doubts about it. Beyond its interior life, society considers it “fortunate”. The words are somewhat superficial and do not resonate with the protagonist. And as if the world around him were a Japanese honors student, he can’t find anyone who has the same problem as him. The protagonist wonders to the world if they “sleep well at night and are refreshed in the morning?”

Today, there are more and more jobs, and it is fashionable to do whatever we want, But at this time, working to eat was the norm.

Among them, the job of a writer may have been a divine revelation for a writer, even for a writer, but it was in the category of a hobby, an intellectual’s other love, a job he liked.

Yozo is not able to understand his neighbors, and his last seduction of human beings is the one of a clown. Even his parents don’t get itAs he grew, the smell of solitude attracted women.

Dazai Osamu was not baptized, but he was passionate about the Reading Bible. This is recorded in the diary of Tomie Yamazaki, with whom he committed suicide, and he also carried a Bible in his bag when he went to see his other mistress, Shizuko Ota, the source of “Shayō” , Dazai once asked Tomie what Bible quotations had made the greatest impression on her.

“No longer Human” is the posthumously written work of Osamu Dazai and is said to be a semi-autobiography written by Tomie while she was nursing Dazai.If you read Tomie’s journal, you will understand why women are attracted by the hero and why they follow Dazai. 

Dazai said to Tomie, “Why not risk your life in Love?” She learns that Dazai is grieved by the Japanese who change after World War II,  Tomie got married during the war because her family feared she was late, and her husband never went back to Manila in the Philippines. She ended up a widow. Back in the day, no one could comfort his loneliness.

In “Phosphorescence”, written on June 3rd, 1947, Dazai describes her love for Tomie and her invocation of her husband around a fictional flower, phosphorescence. The audience didn’t know where to go with her love of her husband who died in the war.

The Society has not forgiven Tomie, only Dazai, and he has accepted his love for her husband.

If he was a ” good husband” as they called him in those days, and protected the family,There wasn’t any help for Tomie,As far as she was concerned, only Dazai, a married man, understood.

Society won’t stand for it?

It’s not society. you’re the one who won’t stand for it-right?

No longer human

Japanese people are asked what their favorite part of this work is, the majority of them might quote this. Dazai’s words, “the society will not forgive you”, and the commonplace phrase,

“You’re the one that doesn’t forgive me.” he said, Focus on the personality.

The weakening of the ego through society resembles the ego of the woman of the time. The focus is on marriage rather than on love as a first step. Even when husbands are Killed in action, there is language for mistreating women. 

Yasunari Kawabata and many other experts criticized him. As a result, Dazai’s life is a life of affirmation. Dazai lives by the women who affirm him. For example, he lives in his stories.

Yozo in “No longer human” is one of them.

The image of the woman in Japanese literature is less of a Christian woman. Even if unintentionally, a man’s monologue touching a woman is both a Bataillean “invasion of beauty” of women and, on the contrary, something like caging a small bird and loving it. Sensuality and feminine females live together in a familiar colloquial text. His image of women has neither the mature sexiness of the wife in Junichiro Tanizaki’s “The Key”, nor the refined elegance of Satoko in Yukio Mishima’s “Sea of Fertility”.

Dazai’s work is the most sober of all the Japanese writers’ portraits of women. In contrast to the reality of their emotional deaths, they are sober.  Just the fact that their cheeks are stained with tender emotions, that they speak openly of death in the midst of a subject in which life and love are weighed in the balance, is another charm of the literature of Dazai’s later years.

It is impossible to express diversity in words. There is always a question of ethics when there is so much to interpret. Yet there is always no solution. Dazai is a clown of the society, he avoids to be confronted with the truth, but he writes with words that do not bind people. In him there is no doctrine of ” Love is what it should be “. They seem to have no core, “No longer human”.

God, I ask you, is non-resistance a sin?

Disqualified as a human being.

Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

Everything passes.

Jesus would be saddened by this decision, which could be called pruning. There is a story that God is the farmer and Jesus is the vine. (John 15) Pruning does not mean cutting down the unwanted, but it means that Jesus, the trunk, is also grieved, representing the ” support oneself “. After pruning the tree, it produces sap. It is compared to the weeping of Jesus.

Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

Everything passes.

One pruned branch thought this way. Maybe it’s the voice of the protagonist and the literary artist.

It is not clear whether Osamu Dazai and Tomie Yamazaki were simply drowning in the Bible and extending it to romance.

It is not clear whether Osamu Dazai and Tomie Yamazaki were simply drowning in the Bible and extending it to romance. But as we get older, we realize that somewhere along the line, we reach a point where we can’t make it. Some people never notice the end of their life, whilst others feel it sooner.

Most people seem to be aware of it when they get cancer or when they are told that they have only a few days to live, but the awareness of death is particularly prevalent in Buddhism.  If you were in a Buddhist school, the first message was that the “possibility of death begins already when you are born”

The lesson was not new discovery. because I had noticed it myself.

Most of us are vaguely aware of death, but most of us relegate it to the corner of our minds because we are afraid of it. If I were to read Osamu Dazai to a child, “Run, Meros” is well known, and we learn about his feelings in the author’s biography. At the time, a friend of mine once read Dazai’s biography and asked me “why he committed suicide?”.

What I answered in my childhood mind was: ” He simply accepted death”.

Naturally, it is scary to disappear from this world without notice on my own. There are some deaths that we accept, like the rest of our lives. So what about suicide, we rarely get to know the true feelings of the dead person. No matter how much is written down, we are always looking for facts that are not written in words. Even if it is written down, we cannot read it as it was written. I have always suspected that there is a dying spirit as well as a dying body. It doesn’t matter how much you write about your spiritual death, other people can’t see it. What happens when the mind becomes so tired that it forgets to seek help?

In fact, even now, 73 years after his death, no one knows what Dazai Osamu Real intention. No one can understand the feelings of a pruned branch. “No longer human” does not lie about “the society” He is without hypocrisy.

Some perhaps will deride me.

What do you mean by not having faith in human beings?

When did you come a Christian anyway?

For the writer, doesn’t loving ultimately to mean remaining a writer? If that is what the women he loved wanted, so be it. Moreover, their deaths would be anathema to Christianity in this work. Nevertheless, without the ability to look at the imperfections of people, neither religion nor literature would be possible. The man of the piece ends up in hospital, while the author dies with his mistress. Without the ability to look at the imperfections of human beings, neither religion nor literature would be possible. The reality that created their “acceptance of death” and the fact that they had to make such a choice in the life they were given.

We must not forget that Jesus wept over such a decision.

We must not forget. If God (love) does not weep

Who will weep?

Pruning should not be considered solely for the proper growth of the vine.

When I was a child, I made no mistake in accepting that ” He simply accepted death”. In fact, the ” acceptance of a painful fate ” comes to all of us at some time. Many times the mind gets tired and the heart feels dead. Yet, the mind may come back to life. The mind will accept death. Over and over again

Feeling for love or death rises and falls repeatedly. Behind the simple expression, I hope that the sound and the thought will reach somewhere with a deeper sound than at that time.


I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. でブログを始める.

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