The doctor said to me, “Gradually it will become possible to see. The light moved without being able to decide where to stay, and tried to create space, but the shapes were dreaming too much in my heart, and I was afraid of waking up. Outside is a nightmare, or is it possible to wake up?
The emotional conflict inside of the shadows and the light seemed to overwhelm me.
Outline
I am left with the memory that I was blind. When I say, ” touching the world,” it’ s not a metaphor. It is a recurring memory of the day I was blind and could see for the first time. And yet, the emotion of “that day” when I could see has faded, and this memory is like a stranger.
I wonder if I’ve come back to life or am I a stranger.
On a summer’s day the painter contemplated death, and on a winter’s day the writer found the body of a musician. Fleeing footprints were burst shot by the photographer.
By the way, where you were “that day”?
From the Author.
As for my own experience, there was a six-year period when I couldn’t write since my last publication (2016). Then I structured the novel in seven chapters based on the seven days of Creation in Genesis.
Publication schedule: Winter 2022 – Spring 2023
Language: Japanese and English
English version may be requested from a translator.
I adapted this photograph to show the protagonist, who experienced a past of blindness, repeating his/her memories. “The emotional conflict inside of the shadows and the light seemed to overwhelm me“
"Bring me the two most precious things in the city,"
The Happy Prince－ Oscar Wilde
Prometheus took the fire from the heavens and gave it to humanity. For that, Zeus punished him. Both he and Jesus loved the human. In Greek mythology and in Jesus, the divine beings who gave their love to mankind were punished. The Happy Prince would be Wilde’s most Christian work, with the hope of converting him to Catholicism. Retarded on his way to Egypt, the swallow attempted to rest at the feet of the prince’s statue. Then the statue of the prince wept――.
The reason the swallow was 6 weeks after the others was because he was in love.
He asked her Shall I love you? She nodded yes. “Will you come away with me?” he said finally to her; but the Reed shook her head, she was so attached to her home. She was making out with the wind. The swallows said goodbye and went away.
Before his birth, the prince was beautiful like an angel. He was called the ” Happy Prince ” and became a statue. The prince, who did not know the outside of its walls, passed away happy.
When the prince found himself outside the walls, he despaired of the poverty and lowliness of the world. The prince asked the swallows to take to the poor the jewels and gold which decorated him.
At last, the prince had nothing left to give. The swallows were exhausted. The swallow finally kissed the prince and they both died. The prince’s body was melted, but for some reason his heart was not melted, so that he was discarded with the corpses of the swallows. God said, “Bring me the two most precious things in the city,” An angel picked the two souls and led them to the kingdom of heaven. In the picture books I read in my childhood, the love of swallows in the first half of the story and the Christianity of the last half were omitted.
The scene of poor people on a winter day reminds us of Andersen “the little match girl”, but the happy prince has a match-selling girl. The last person the swallows give the gold foil to is the matchgirl. Swallows are monogamous and raise their youngsters in couples. Swallows transport their food over 100 times, so this story makes ecological sense.
It is believed that the prince, who had never known outside the walls, died and never became an adult because he remained a prince, a title he held. Oscar Wilde also refers to children’s sacredness in his other book, The Selfish Giant. The giant had a lovely garden among its walls. With the giant gone, the children came to play. When the giants found them, they sent the children away. Then Spring stopped coming to the garden. The giants let the children in. This suggests a profound belief that children will go into the kingdom of heaven, as we have read in Matthew 18:3-5.
If you imagine a swallow flying around for the poor, the image recalls a street and a space. Time is a space, the analogy of Bergson appeared to indicate. Time is not linear, nor is it ephemeral. The flight of the swallows is repetitive, linear, planar. The swallows and the prince lived in an interior time different from the “exterior” time of the adults who had the prince who had lost his ornaments. Their kind-hearted deeds are different from the regular time. It is durée pure; They lived in the ambivalence of transmutation and preservation. How difficult and costly it is to love a human being. This is demonstrated by the description of the impoverished town and its inhabitants.
The prince was wealth itself. It was too big to share with the people. That’s why he needed the little swallows to get past a like needle hole. As it is more difficult for the wealthy to enter the kingdom of heaven than to go through the eye of a needle (Matthew 19:24), they begin their preparation for the narrow gate. (Luke 13:23,24) But the prince said to the swallows that misery was not a mystery. They will be carried by angels.
A most beautiful soul.
When the pure presence of the soul appears in the world of writing, a light comes into view.
It was as if, with the association of dawn in the mind, the beautiful sunrise revealed the presence of God. That the self-serving dialogue of the poor streets would fade into the distance；Our immersion rises into the kingdom of heaven.
When I was a little girl, I never wanted to be a stopped swallow；I wanted to be the swallow that ignored the prince and flew to warmer ground. But I realized what it meant to be a swallow that had nowhere else to fly but Sacred love．I thought of the Japanese words of prayer before Communion: Leaving you behind, who will I go to?
Bergson
Oscar Wilde – The Happy Prince
Bible Christianity
備考（Note)
Leaving you behind, who will I go to? Japanese Mass
my soul shall be healed English Mass
参考資料 Reference
『Brief Lives: Oscar Wilde』by Richard Canning Hesperus Press Ltd.
La vulnérabilité des choses précieuses est belle parce que la vulnérabilité est une marque d’existence.
貴重なものが傷つきやすく無防備なのは美しい。なぜなら、その弱さは存在の証なのだから。
シモーヌ・ヴェイユ
「重力と恩寵」偶然の章
My dear, I implore you, will not die. Blind affection, as it calls itself，If you die, your Vacancy will be at my side forever.
Osamu Dazai, The Defeat of Thought
Butterflies passing through the sea lie on the surface of the sea. And the wings, weighed by the water, fly away. Even if the little existence by the side of death disappeared, the ocean would only stir. The scent of the waves swallows you up, and Garcia Marquez compares the sea of dead bodies with the scent of roses. The smell of the tide is mixed with the smell of the rose and the perfume of the dream rose becomes thicker with the dark at sunset.
It falls asleep, the sun’s reverie.
Only the sound of the wave remains, and reverberation attempts. Nobody goes looking for the body of the butterfly.
Just the right amount of desperation, Debussy’s music called La Mer.
2018 was the centenary of Debussy’s death,
In the end, consciousness didn’t move a finger.
Psychology is the study of life and death, and the mechanism of mind has been proven and tested many times. Even what is natural to the mind is still at the research stage.
The research is released and then buried, In our epoch, Christianity was strong in its total affirmation of life. Doctrines existed as doctrines, the assumption that God’s love existed unchecked, and yet my heart was dry.
As for love, as far as human love is concerned, it is deduced in psychology through scores and circumstances. However, he may still be interested in me, he may still look at me sexually, but an inner love is unimpeded as faith. It was more certain that this supreme thing was God’s love than man’s ever-changing love.
Believe or not believe, the condition exists as a good response apart from consciousness.
Should I ask for the love of God to heal me, or the love of a man to heal me?
I couldn’t believe it either.
First of all, I couldn’t form words with my consciousness any more, if not in fragments.
Keeping it hidden, I kept quiet about how I couldn’t write my work anymore. In the middle of all this, I lied, thinking of my dried-up love.
I took a pill mid-way through the meeting，Another day I had to take a pill before I got to the hotel.
I paid extra for the water，The shell of the drug resembled this butterfly which was never searched. All secrets lie in my belly, devouring me alone.
There was an earthquake of magnitude 6 in June 2018. The earth quaked and I had no idea what had happened. I thought I could die, but I didn’t call the guy I was dating back then.
Because it would hurt me if he walked out on me，I avoided it because I was scared of the result. I should have said goodbye before.
Ugliness and malice exist in human love but love also includes believing. Love between human beings falls and becomes sinful, but the love of God goes beyond human understanding.
Human beings believe in protection，Human beings choose their own selves rather than the love of others, but God does not.
Psychology, philosophy, this unholy notion that without this ugliness, there would be no vitality in life. We are raised by fate, so we mix them together and, blushing through our enthusiasm, we are still precious today.
Each time I repeat a bit of despair, a smile fills my face and Little by little, we become increasingly convinced of our limitations.
――The angels come and mock us because we are not so happy in heaven.
Only today, 3 years later, did I read part of the suicide note. I was writing as if I didn’t hate anyone, when I really did. And the writing was terrible.
I can understand that my language was broken and that I could not write any more. It seems like I’ve been in a desperate situation, but I couldn’t write, not just today, I couldn’t write long ago.
It was in October, always warm and damp, the day of the International Mass. I was afraid of something, afraid of something, and hate spread from one form to another.
My friend cleaned the bloodstain and Adam the cat came. So I thought he was an angel. I remembered Lucifer that day, but he was missing. Adam had many blessings. Adam, why I need him forever brings me back to that day.
We often see people who have been victimized by others reveal their worst days when they succeed. People say” ” I took revenge on those who discriminated against me, I overcame the fact that I was oppressed” Well, people usually connect to their worst days and So we stay away from the best.
Quiet tames the bad days, but the best days are crushed by the bad days，Tranquility tames the worst days, but the best days are crushed by the worst days.
On this day in 2021, I did not dare choose any part of the Bible. I chose those words by Osamu Dazai, who says that if you die, I will miss the empty space. I was under the impression that his love for me was a divine word. Perhaps this is what I wanted to hear，But I couldn’t hear that.
I’ve been helped by so many people that I don’t know who thanks everyday.
I don’t know where I’m going since the most unwise day.
And that voice reading gave a beautiful voice to my long-lost world. It has been a long and thoughtful journey. I want to rest beside this beautiful voice now, so that the worst days are far away. I want to write something that will use that beautiful voice. The butterfly has awoken from sleep. I promised you a trip, and I’ll go someplace with you.
Readers and writers
To the poorest talent
Japanese
Adam
2016 I called an ambulance for chest pains.
2017 I was constantly on stabilizers, anti-vertigo, and various medications.
2018 Words became choppy in my consciousness.
2021 Recovering on heart and liver medication.(Stop taking psychotropic medication and change to heart medication such as Vasolan )
It was Dazai Osamu who wrote this suicide note: “I can no longer write”
I had no awareness of the words, but I knew them.
It’s not that I couldn’t think about a story, it’s just that there was a time when my words went missing. I don’t mean whether it was a psychological problem or a side effect of the medicine，It took me a while to settle everything without it getting too heavy.
Even after my Catholic conversion, in some of the best days of my life but I got flash backs from that day.
For instance, when people succeed, they expose the worst days of their lives.
I declare that I am overcome.
In my best days, I can’t stop thinking back to my worst days. For me, in the past three years, there has not been one day that I have been able to really rejoice, except for Adam.
I want to reorganize my articles and, in a number of ways, reconstruct them.
Starting with him doing the readings.
I would like to thank everyone for their help. Thank you very much.
The poorest talent, from the gospel. ” Blessed are the poor in spirit”.
Should be a reflection of something purer.
André Paul Guillaume Gide
On 12 October 1654 an explosion in an explosive’s depot caused a large extent of casualties.
Many Dutch paintings were destroyed in the explosion, and this also damaged the workshop. One of the victims was Rembrandt’s pupil, Carel Fabritius, who was also killed in the accident. This captive bird is still alive today, even though it has lost its owner.
No doubt many people will agree that the “fate” of this painting is the reason for much of its re-evaluation.
Carel Fabritius was an Rembrandt student. His paintings have been influenced by Rembrandt. We can find Rembrandt’s influence in the way he painted light. Rembrandt’s early works show a wide range of colors, but he gradually developed a basis of brown and grey tones, with brighter colors used for the most illuminated objects. He also uses chiaroscuro, a compositional technique that clearly defines light and darkness.
Its influence is also felt by his pupil Fabritius. Overall, the work is completed in opacity, but the color contrast gives the wall a strong light. The walls are darkly shaded by the feeder and the birds as chiaroscuro, Tarnished natural yellows create a psychological effect of light and shade. What distinguishes this painting from that of Rembrandt, in addition to choosing the bird as a motif, This is using hard paint..Like Van Gogh and the impressionists.
The bird’s background is a flat wall, but we can imagine that what the bird is watching is daylight.
By avoiding all human symbols and imagery, the bird sees the purest things. The light is reflected in her eyes and the imagination is always there. This painting, dressed in “Amor Fati” is a bird who never knew the escape.
This bird lives for a long time and is not capable of flying high.
It was the movie “The goldfinch”(2019) that made this painting instantly famous of our time.
In order to explain the film, a boy and his mother visit a museum and find themselves caught in an explosion. While they escape, the boy steals the goldfinch which has survived. Inspired by the destiny of the original painting of real life, I watched this movie in 2021 with no previous information. The film was inspired by the destiny of the original painting of actual life，and I got a sense of déjà vu from the paintings used in the film.
Had a life of his own for a film accessory. Nothing symbolic at the time, but the color palette was classic. The bird understands the light and is free from superfluous insights. It’s too far from being allowed to exist as a painting, and I’ve seen it before. During the movie, I thought so much about this painting that I didn’t remember exactly what it was about. I didn’t remember exactly what they were talking about, However, the characters began to say that it was a Dutch painting. I looked through the catalogue on the shelf in the other room, thinking maybe I saw this painting once.
In 2012, I was still watching the painting.
I placed a sticky note in the catalogue of Mauritshuis’s exhibition.
The page was “The Goldfinch”. Many Dutch paintings were produced during the boom in microscopic observation, So these are essentially specific tables. Rembrandt’s “Canticum Simeonis” was extremely bright. And Vermeer’s “Het meisje met de parel” tour. I passed by smiling faces art, smiling faces art, and found ‘Goldfinch’ in still life.
It seemed like an incomplete picture. After the human smile, the innocence of the animal, the feathers reflecting the pure light, looked even brighter. In the midst of all these still life’s, observed as the curious mind desires, there is a single and foreign imperfection.
The chained bird received the love of someone special instead of freedom. The look in the eyes of the person who loved this bird makes it seem that it is not so bad out there either. Whoever fed this bird, this bird has transcended much time and space and always sees the light. The vitality of the paintings that survived the explosion accident was unintentionally revived in my memory. It was a memory I did not cherish, but it was unexpectedly revived, and it was now inevitable that I would notice this ‘bird’ lurking in the shadows, even for a moment, while I was looking at the guide to the series of Vermeer’s ‘Pearl Earring’. At the time, I certainly thought it was a good painting. But I didn’t realise then that it was so memorable. I thought about leaving without buying the catalogue, but I am glad I did. At the time of the exhibition I didn’t think my life would fall apart from there until 2014, after my Catholic baptism, when I was baptised into the Catholic Church.
I was in hell for a long time, although I also saw heaven. What to do with what I saw on the verge of death, my good will was preserved by this one gentle miracle. For this memory of Hades was an assurance that I had not lived in vain.
This trompe l’oeil (deception), loved by fate, which deceives me, overwhelms me with the power of its vitality. It made me want to be deceived again, to catch the light.
***
The goldfinch, also known as the ‘thorn bird’, is said to have pulled the thorns from Christ’s crown of thorns, causing the blood to splatter on its wings.
"Was the author of the Book of Revelation really not under the influence, so to speak, of a being who was in conflict with Jesus Christ? of the 'Schatten', as it is called in psychology" C. G. Jung, "The Aion".
A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born. 5She gave birth to a son, a male child, who “will rule all the nations with an iron scepter.”And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.
Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
“Now have come the salvation and the power
and the kingdom of our God,
and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down……
Revelation：12
On August 15, 2014, Assumption of the Blessed Virgin，I was baptized as a Catholic. Most people are baptized in the spring at Easter, but this was the only year that the baptismal service was also held in the summer. I had planned to attend a baptismal course with my fiancé at the time, but I went to the church he had chosen in June, just to see what it was like. While I was taking baptism alone, I had to attend a year-long study group, but the priest in charge at the time said he could fit me into the baptismal service in August. I asked my fiancé to let me in without asking for confirmation. At that time I didn’t know if it was an invitation from God or a betrayal, but I didn’t know that my relationship with him would deteriorate.
He intended to continue to love the Bible without being baptized, But I was convinced that he would come later, and I found myself with a bunch of lilies on August 15.
When the Bible reading began, “The temple of God in heaven was opened, and the …… woman was pregnant, but because of the pain and suffering of giving birth to a child, the …… dragon wanted to give birth to a child,” I turned my head and began to I had the chills when the reading started. is Revelation 12, the maiden, and the dragon. The dragon is said to be a heretical being and the woman is the Virgin Mary. This world of Revelation is the end of humanity and is depicted in cryptic prose and lyricism. In this chapter alone, This prefigures the dream of Joseph in Genesis 37, and the Bible itself writes about the beginning and end of the world.
The reason why I was so moved by the story is that the maiden and the dragon is a Jungian archetype, which I also dealt with in my work “Pagaea Doll”, in which I compared it to the dragon legends of East and West. Like the protagonist “Shoko”, I have been pursuing the “virginity of the imagination” since I was a child. As in the story of Borges, one can imagine and still resemble someone else. Without sympathy and admiration, the imagination is wounded, flattered, thirsty and lonely, aging and dying.
When I was painting in my teenage years, I sometimes thought that when I was free to create, I couldn’t find what I wanted to paint because I couldn’t find what I wanted to paint. The world I wanted to paint depends on my capacity to describe it, and I couldn’t even approach it. What I found out, what I might have known if I had studied philosophy, Hadd was already a pioneer in philosophers. It’s always changing my mind, searching for new discoveries. The time when the eye blinks, or the time to fall asleep, the opportunity is unpredictable and even the notebook is not ready. Without any time to think, drawing assignments arrive, study assignments arrive, and I waste my time on dreams.
When I finally said that I wanted to make a religious painting, the adults did not agree with me, and I set off on a journey to concretize myself, without financial means.
Jung’s “archetypes” are even deeper than Freud’s unconscious: C.G. Jung remarked that Jesus and Mary do not appear directly in dreams as much as church people do. The Sun is Jesus, the Lilies are Mary, and they exist as symbols in the field of collective unconsciousness. Freud did not deny this statement from his own, but said he was having problems with it.I would later learn that Freud was right. Jung’s work is laborious for a man as exhausted as his patient. Myth and faith may have been a fading influence of 19th century science, but even if Jung’s theory was correct, it was probably obvious that neither theology nor religion, or more specifically myth and fable, would become stronger in the 20th and 21st centuries, and that the masses would no longer understand them. That is why the “archetypes” are so isolated from their patients.
I was in primary school when I wrote the story of the dragon. I already had an idea for the story of Shoko’s childhood in “PangaeaDoll”. I knew the book of Revelation chapter 12 from a Bible I found in a Christian friend’s house. I didn’t know what it meant, but it fascinated me as a fantasy story about the dynamism of this wriggling dragon and the obsession with a maiden (the Immaculate Heart of Mary).
What do I want to show? I was looking for a place for the significance of the “something” that was born. Eventually I quit painting because I no longer wanted to be understood, and I lived in my writing. I will live for my existence, even though no one in particular asks me to. In order not to be crushed by others, my thoughts go beyond my language and my imagery and become even more passionate. An inexpressible pain in my chest, my soul dreams of rising. For such a man, the dragon was a symbol of uncontrollable ” Sensation “. It followed the maiden Mary as she fled from the clutches of King Herod. It was such a struggle to have faith or not to have faith. There was doubt and a constant shadow of the Bible. Such is the world of the unconverted. It was always ridged like a serpent and moved with a lot of heat.
The dragon who wanted to eat the maiden (Jesus) seemed to me to be a conflicted baptismal candidate itself. Especially the dragon of chapter 12, which followed Mary, may be so. The Baptist is also a pagan.
Nevertheless, after his baptism in 2014, the maiden and the dragon were not read until today, in 2021. Even the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary festival was not attended after this. Even though they participated in other ordinary Masses and ceremonies. They were not there. For a long time, I never regained the sense of baptism.Part of the reason I wanted to write another track, and also because I had already lost the dragon to my heart. I never thought about grief, a pagan symbol.
Every time I went to mass, I wore a white veil, but after my friend died, I wore a black veil. I began to remove the veil in time, and although I always carried a Bible, I no longer do.
The world I saw after my baptism was a world of grace and solitude waiting for me. The soul of an artist can only live in his work, and with that revelation in my heart, I had been hopeful, only to find myself on the edge of a cliff.
In 2018, I was standing in front of suicide.
Sound is said to be uninformed, and so is the existential nature of language. The tongue is a background of symbols, on which concepts exist. A concept has a meaning as a word, but it is synthesized by a series of words. The linguistic world is a composite one. Languages are not by themselves. Although you need someone to understand it, it is often not understood.
It was Christianity that clarified why words existed, as John’s Gospel says: “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God”. Just as in Russia, where there was no clear language in the beginning, language was created as Christianity spread.
The language is isolated. But it is to God, it is the mystery of the word. and I didn’t feel so alone.
Many have said to me, “Why won’t you write free?”
I’ve been asked by many people, but I’ve never answered. I don’t feel lonely with this question any more, because I realize that I don’t need to answer it in particular. What started as giving up is already “freedom”.
The beginning was a painful “freedom”. Baptism did indeed give freedom. The surrogate mother who wiped the holy water dripping from my hair, the priest who celebrated, all those who surrounded me, we will never gather in the same place again. They will never come together again. The bouquet of lilies that I carried at that time is still blooming in my memory, although it has vanished already. The people I loved then, the people I left, the people I met, the sight I saw when I looked up, where I smiled towards, the characters of this moment, my emotions, will never represent my “now” again, they will never come into my sight.
For a long time I wondered whether I should accept this disappearance or leave it as a memory of my baptism again.
After seven years of hesitation, I finally looked back on this time.
Indeed, at the time of my baptism, my soul was joyful.
Catholicism had yet to be philosophically organized.
Simone weil
There are many genres of fiction today, One of the things I love about literature is that it makes use of what is really only a record. A simple lost love can be embellished by a single word, a forgotten dead can have a meaning. The loneliness that people tell us to forget, the happiness that seems so ordinary, all depend on our own sensibility, and we can decide whether our life is just a record with oblivion or a shining life.
It is left to the sensibility of the writer to verbalize and leave behind the succession of moments that disappear from the world that no one picks up. Perhaps those who have such a point of view are those who are terrified of the moment disappearing as it is. Some people are happier to forget, others to talk about their misfortunes, so that their loneliness becomes cathartic through monologue.
For these people, the ability to speak their own language is important.
As for me, I create in the fictional world the heat that I did not live in the real world. There may be many emotions that I have killed for social reasons, but the emotions that I could not delete and the place where my faith lives is the fictional world. It is an introversion, but an extroversion that challenges the world. I’ve never been pessimistic about it.
Artists are left with only two choices: mere madness or genius. Van Gogh and Caravaggio are good examples. And Emilie Bronte, whose inner world was immeasurably darker than the one she wrote about in “Wuthering Heights”. A true artist does not look for “genius” to win the admiration of others. The poetic sentiment and the way of looking at things that he could not abandon is a God-given gift, and that is what he is in Christianity. The sensibility that almost killed me many times when I was urged to be social was never socially disadvantageous to me in life. What’s next is to find out if this really was a gift from God.
I want to know the answer to the question of whether it really was. Vladimir Nabokov’s “The Gift” is such a story, and it is also the story of Nabokov’s alter ego in exile in Russia.
One term I have coined is “Soar point”. It has taken me many years to get this theory down to an understanding.
I’m going to write about it in an irregular series.
In the fictional world, there is no standard height of land. It is a world of language.
I try to write about light, temperature, color and space. The writing is plain, sober, rhyming, It is pregnant with poetic sentiment，
The words are like music, even the spaces between the letters are meaningful, and the protagonist walks through the world I have created, manipulating them.
The first work, ‘Pangaea Doll’, is based on a real patient in a laboratory in England. She was a patient who was strange, but who did not know where she had gone in the real world. The intersection of dream and reality was a psychological and scientifically possible delusion. But the name of the disease was something I made up. It was my first fictional world.
In the second work, “Iconograph”, there is no prominent fictional object, but the clock tower of a mechanical clock becomes imaginary. The phenomenology of the “bird’s nest” is based on the 13th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel.
Jesus was at sea, on a boat where no plants could grow. So he compared the Word of God to a seed. Some seeds can be sown in one place, but the birds will come and eat them. Other seeds fell on stony ground, where the soil was not deep enough and they sprouted quickly, but when the sun came up, they were burnt and withered away because they had no roots. It is difficult for the plant, the Word of God, to grow. ”Listen if you have ears.“The boy who hears these words and The protagonist, Kawamura Koune, goes on a journey of thought to hear God’s blessing. In Japan, Christianity is frowned upon if you don’t like it, and the characters cross over from longing for faith to oblivion, to disgust, and back to blessing. If this were the only explanation, people would mistakenly believe that there is no romance in this novel. That’s the trouble. There is love and death in this story too.
But the first reason I don’t say this is because I believe that waiting for the assessment of a mediocre love affair or death is just an emotional assessment. It is a sad fact that the real world is the same way. Death is equal, but there are special graves for special deaths, and classes for the deaths of the unconscious and the body. But the soul is equal, and the literary world can save even the most unlikely of beings. Literature must have the fervor to express what the masses have ceased to say. Love and death cannot be conveyed by begging only for sympathy, even if it is true. The soul may live without emotional sympathy if it is metaphorically told how the world works and how God works in it. The external world is rarely captured. But the enrichment of the inner world can make even an empty life seem like a footnote.
Many times I have been opposed to adding philosophy or religion to literature, but I have never given in. Perhaps it is because I know how cruel it is to assess the feelings of others. It follows that one’s own words do not grow, and that the same is true of God.
If the Word of God is a plant, it is the bird that spins it into a nest that grows beautifully. The bird’s nest is not only a bird’s nest, but also a part of the human world that it picks up and builds.
My fictional world is such a phenomenology. It represents the formation of orientation, the world created by orientation, while waiting for the analysis of existence. My literature is thus an amalgamation of spins, and there is no such thing as a complete lie. The heat that did not live in this world becomes a fiction.
Just as a bird’s nest still does not know exactly how to nest with precision, so I weave my experiences, my fantasies. From the fictional “land” of the precise nest, uncertain of how it is completed, my story takes Soar. And the seeds dropped by these birds of fancy can grow or disappear. The reader’s understanding constructs a third world as a plant that grows. That image is both sad and hopeful.
Johan Liebert is the titular character in “Monster“but Not drawn by the author. It’s a homage. Author unknown. Additions are required.
At that moment, that monster appeared in front of me.
Was Mom trying to help me? Was she confusing me with my sister? Which one?
Mom！ don't let go!
Monster Naoki Urasawa
Sometimes I believe that being a victim is like being in a prison camp. Once you have tasted it, you can’t communicate it to others, even in your own language.
Since birth, I have found myself in the camps many times. The first one I remember was when I was seven years old. It was a female teacher. If my ego, my present experience, was broken, it was because of this teacher. Still, no one helped me. In the midst of hatred and sorrow, I found the light. That was the first liberation. I don’t know who was teaching me at that time. But my monologue grew as I acquired a phenomenological vision. The sky in my memory was always blue, but the words were always gloomy. This was affirmed by psychology. It said that man is a coexistence of the definite and the anti-definite.
In phenomenology, the “moment”, the present rather than the future or the past, becomes prominent. In it, the childhood mind imagined the light of the future in the “moment”. That was my sustenance. As he entered the camp again and again, he noticed that the light was becoming weaker and weaker. When the light gets weaker, I notice that I have compatriots. I can see better in the dark, I guess that’s a sign that I’ve grown up.
I’ve seen all kinds of victims, and I’ve seen people who choose to go to jail. The highest penalty for perpetrators is the death penalty and victims also go to jail.
I’ve seen it happen to some people, they think they’re going to die.
I find myself saying to myself.
“Forget it”
Then the signal for release rings and I am let out. My wounds had healed and I had no right to speak. My words became a barrier between us and the rest of the camp.
On love and justice, I have written repeatedly since the opening of this blog that love and justice can be contradictory, but this time I would like to talk about John Paul II. Mehmet Ali Ağca , a Turk, shot John Paul II on May 13, 1981, but saved his life. Mehmet Ali Ağca was sentenced to life in prison, but was pardoned by the Pope who shot him.
John Paul II was later the victim of another assassination attempt, and in his later years he suffered from Parkinson’s disease and the after-effects of the assassination attempt.
Mehmet Ali Ağca was saddened by the Pope’s death and was only allowed to offer flowers; I only know that he hopes to be a Catholic priest in 2016, but I am not certain.
I don’t know what was truly in John Paul II’s heart, but his writings are full of light.
I do not know the true heart of John Paul II, but his writings are full of light, and they are also full of darkness. It is beside the light.
It is not a warning to blind sinners, but a guide to the lost sheep.
In the chapter “The Rejection of the World” of ” Opens the Door to Hope” he says: “When the true teaching is unpopular. When the true teaching is unpopular, it is unacceptable to seek easy popularity”.
The camps in which the victims were held were also filled with rivalries. Invariably, people with revolutionary fantasies would begin to attack others.
They start attacking people. Then there is a thinly-veiled gathering of those who have been “deceived by simple words”.The victims suffer not only temporary damage, but also secondary and tertiary damage, the rejection of the world.
Jesus Christ says in Matthew 7:13,14 that the road to eternal salvation is neither wide nor comfortable, but rather narrow and difficult. The Saviour Christ, whom the masses misunderstand, does not teach a comfortable way.
He does not teach a comfortable path. In fact, many people mistake God for the Saviour and criticise him.
Sometimes the Saviour is really an “idol” created for the world or by popular desire.
Victims are the “idols” to whom we must pay attention. If you know what this means, you know what it was like to be a victim in a prison camp. When they go out, they will not forget what it was like there. Those who don’t know what it means are hypocrites who don’t know that they are the mass media and that they are hurting people. He is a delusional revolutionary who never doubts his own “goodness”.
People who don’t know the threat of the sword are hurting many people with their pens.
They are no longer heading for the camps of the victims.
It is heading for the real prison, where criminals go.
In the book of Revelation, the beast is a number and has no name. Revelation 13 speaks of a beast with ten horns and seven heads, “Who can stand against this beast? Who can fight against this beast? The answer was a demand for wisdom. (Verse 18)
The wise man should consider what the number of the beast means.
The number represents man.
The beast is man. Those who know this are humble.
The hypocrite only wants others to bear arms. The Saviour lets them know that he heals.
The hypocrite is quick to invite sympathy with weakness. The Saviour bears his wounds in silence. For he knows that the hypocrite will come soon.
I couldn’t say “forget it” to one of the victims who was more pitiful than me.
I will never forget the darkness, because it is still on my mind. I wonder where he was taken.
I wonder where he was taken. I wonder if he ever saw the light.
It is the hypocrites of today who have cut off the network of communication.
What is easy to understand tells us about darkness. What is hard to understand is that we all have it.
We all have it. We all have a beast in our hearts.
I could go on for a long time with this parable.
If you are a victim facing the death penalty, all I can say is this.
This death sentence can be retried. Demand it.
There have been many invitations to die, but I hope you live to shame.
Naoki Urasawa’s Monster stirred a young mind in me. It was rare to find a manga that taught me the difference between a saviour and a god when everyone else was so chaotic and “I don’t believe in god”. It was popular in the UK and I read it in the UK. The main character, Tenma, knows Johan’s real name, but it is not revealed until the end. He was a beast, but he was also a man. He was the victim of an East German conspiracy, but he was also a sinner.
That is why they did not give the saint the same name as his real name. He was wonderfully faithful to Revelation 13, which he used as a quote.
Revelation is about a man named John, but the author is unknown.
Night after night, morning after morning, the little mermaid went to the beach to see if she could find her prince.
Andersen's The Little Mermaid
This article will be updated as a critique during the winter of 2024
Andersen’s The Little Mermaid has made me think many times. I will not comment on Disney’s version of The Little Mermaid, as I do not care for the story, but many commentaries on the original story end with the mermaid ending up in a bubble and dying, but in fact there is a continuation.
The mermaid who did not get a human soul does not go to heaven, but becomes a genie. It is explained to the mermaid that it is not a bad holy spirit and that after 300 years she can go to heaven. If she touches a good child, that day will come a day earlier, but if she meets a bad child, she will be a day later. Andersen’s message to the children is.
The Little Mermaid was to be a good child so that she could go to heaven as soon as possible.
The Little Mermaid is made up of three main elements.
(i) Existentialism
(ii) Love
(iii) Christian ideology.
The Little Mermaid is said to have been influenced by Fouquet’s Undine. For the Christian world, the Holy Spirit of Water lives apart from the Grace of God. Perhaps it is based on the biblical interpretation that water originally existed at the beginning of Genesis. Such confrontational beings try to become human, thereby forcing the reader to imagine what it means to be human. The mermaid-like beings were set up to not have a short life span like humans. And above all, they are afraid of death: mermaids can live for 300 years, but after death they turn into bubbles. In the mermaid world, the old people have no doubt that they are happy to live 300 years longer and drift away in bubbles, and only the youngest mermaid princess yearns for human death and souls. At the same time, she begins to dream of the eternity of love.
For her, it was one ‘love’ that gave her that opportunity. The mermaid world can ascend to the human world at the age of 15. For these girls, it was their one and only chance to see the world created by God. Each of the sisters has seen many different human worlds. From the bottom of the water to the top of the water, what they see there is different. In Jungian psychology, water is the unconscious, through which girls go through the rituals of adulthood. This different landscape that they witness is also the same for human believers. Just as believers read the same Bible but have different personalities, so the landscape is different for each faith. Just as Kierkegaard said that we must quit chasing ‘truth’ and challenge philosophy by separating philosophy from theology (later refuted by Husserl), the immanent world of the mermaid is existentialist, divorced from the external world. These women live in another time, coexisting with the Christian world. Only the youngest of them, the mermaid, has acquired a ‘love’. First of all, love is the feeling of wanting to connect with the other person, but she has acquired the occult mysticism of a witch and has become human.
However, she loses her voice and her legs hurt. To get rid of this, she had to be discovered by the prince.
The Little Mermaid is also a symbol of the ‘poor’ for Andersen (note 1) It seems to have been an irony that people who had almost no human rights were coolly thinking about how they could gain them, and that it was a financial thing. Language is considered important in the biblical world. That is why in the first chapter of John’s Gospel, the Logos hymn, With God was the Word, which is also considered human, but she is deprived of her ‘language’. What was left of her as a human being was her body, and the pain in her feet, her heart. She had a heart that knew love and hurt.
The Little Mermaid was actually cherished by the prince, as a detailed reading of the original story shows. The commentary often overlooks the fact that the mermaid princess is searched for after she falls and disappears, which is also an important part of the story. The prince and princess are grieving the loss of the mermaid princess and gazing at the sea foam. The irony (sadness) is also expressed in the fact that the poorer people are, the less they are able to achieve substantial happiness and are forced to depend on God’s love, the love of adoration for God and the agape, the love that surrounds them. Andersen held until the end that the Little Mermaid had to obtain something substantial in order to exist as a human being. She had to belong to a prince-like existence in order to obtain human rights, and the marriage ceremony is the most mysterious thing in the Christian world, and is a sign of full-fledged existence, so much so that it is especially important for Catholics. Does the fact that it is unobtainable make a person’s existence worthless? Andersen put the important teachings of Jesus Christ, which are not confined to ritual as a fairy tale, into the ascending soul of the Little Mermaid. Christian existentialism, as I have named it, is also a religion that stands between the relativity of organisation and the absolute. Even if we go through the same Bible and rituals, there are personalities that are drowned out by injustice and relativity. In this context, just as the Little Mermaid chooses love over their determined and structured world, and seeks the existence of being loved by God as a person, so too the Christian has an existentialist philosophy, a ‘justice’ and ‘love’ that cannot be seen without the primacy of real existence over essence existence.
‘I fell in love with a prince’, which at first glance seems like an optimistic dream.
Compared to, for example, Charles Perrault’s read-aloud fairy tale of a nobleman’s daughter, Andersen’s cruelty draws a line in the sand. He portrayed God’s love in The Little Mermaid, where marriage and love were not connected.
He wanted the children to genuinely love the poor little mermaid.
And he wanted them to be good children so that they could go to heaven for a day.
This is not a sad story. It is a look at what we do.
(Note 1: I heard this in a psychology class in the UK, so I don’t know the source, so I can’t be certain)
Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil. but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails.
Chris Kyogetu 